What is a small habit that keeps friendships warm between meetups? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often think that friendships only exist in the moments when they are physically together, such as at school, at the park, or during a playdate. However, friendships can also grow quietly in the times between those moments. When days or even weeks pass without seeing each other, a simple act of thoughtfulness can help to keep the bond between two friends alive. Teaching your child the small, kind habits that show that they remember and care for their friends can help their friendships to remain warm and to become more lasting. It can help them to turn their connections with others from something that is purely situational into something that is steady and heartfelt. 

Start by Explaining Why It Matters 

You can begin by explaining to your child that all friendships need small touches of attention in order to stay strong. You could say, ‘When we show someone that we are thinking of them, it can make them feel very special, even if we are not able to be with them.’ This helps them to understand that a sense of loyalty is not about being constantly present, but about being consistently kind. You can also encourage them to imagine how nice it can feel when someone remembers them unexpectedly: ‘Do you remember when your friend sent you that beautiful drawing? It made you smile, did it not? You can make someone else feel that way too.’ 

Teach Them Simple ‘Friendship Touchpoints’ 

You can give your child some practical ways to help keep their connections with their friends warm between their meetups. These are small actions that can say, ‘I remember you,’ without the need for big gestures. 

• Sending a short and simple message or a voice note: ‘Hi! I just saw a game that reminded me of you.’ 

• Sharing something small, such as a drawing, a photograph, or a kind note. 

• Saying, ‘I am really looking forward to seeing you soon,’ before a weekend or a holiday. 

• Remembering something that their friend has mentioned to them: ‘Did your cat get better?’, or ‘How was your football match on the weekend?’ 

These small gestures teach them that thoughtfulness does not have to take a lot of time, but that it can build a deep sense of trust and affection. 

Teach a Sense of Thoughtful Balance 

It is important to remind your child that this sense of kindness does not have to mean constant contact. You could say, ‘It is nice to check in with our friends sometimes, but it is also important to give them their own space.’ This helps to teach them a sense of emotional intelligence, an awareness that a real friendship will always respect both connection and independence. You can also talk to them about the idea of reciprocity: ‘If your friend does not reply to your message straight away, that is okay. They might just be busy. You have still shared a piece of kindness with them, and that is what matters.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, the act of maintaining our bonds with others (silah) is seen as a sign of a strong character and of our gratitude to Allah. A small act of kindness that is done with sincerity can help to keep our hearts connected and can attract the mercy of Allah Almighty. Teaching your child that the act of caring for a friendship is a form of ihsan (excellence in our relationships) can help them to see that even their tiniest efforts can hold a great spiritual value. 

The Blessing of Keeping Our Hearts Connected 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ra’ad (13), Verse 21: 

‘And those people who maintain (their worldly material responsibilities) as instructed by Allah (Almighty) in how to discharge (that responsibility); and are in awe of their Sustainer, and are anxious of the terrifying (detail) in accountability (of their deeds on the Day of Judgement).’ 

This verse honours those who are careful to maintain their good ties with others, even through small and simple gestures. Helping your child to keep a friendship warm, whether it is by a message, a shared memory, or a prayer for their friend, is a part of this noble act. 

The Prophetic Example of Remembering Friends 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 362, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a man visits his brother for the sake of Allah, an angel calls out: “May you be happy, may your walking be blessed, and may you enter a home in Paradise.”’ 

This hadith highlights the spiritual beauty of reaching out to others simply out of a sense of love and goodwill. When your child is able to remember a friend in a kind way, whether it is through a visit, a message, or even a prayer, they are mirroring this beautiful prophetic spirit of connection for the sake of Allah. 

Helping your child to build a small habit of remembering their friends between their meetups can teach them that a real friendship is not about a constant presence, but about a thoughtful consistency. Each small gesture, whether it is a kind message or a silent prayer, can help to strengthen both their empathy and their gratitude. 

Your own encouragement and your personal modelling will help them to see that a friendship is like a light; it does not have to be shining brightly all the time, but it should never be allowed to go out completely. 

Spiritually, these small acts can help to keep a child’s heart soft and their soul connected. They can teach them that maintaining their bonds with others, even through the simplest of words or smiles, is a part of being a believer who values other people as precious gifts from Allah Almighty.