What is a kinder default for group chats than piling on with reactions? 

Parenting Perspective 

Group chats can be a difficult social landscape for children to navigate. When one member of the group makes a small mistake, tells a clumsy joke, or shares something vulnerable, others can sometimes ‘pile on’ with a flood of emojis, sarcastic comments, or exaggerated reactions. Even if this is intended as harmless fun, the cumulative effect can feel overwhelming and humiliating for the person at the centre of the attention. The aim is to coach your child in a kinder way of responding, one that promotes empathy and helps to steady the tone of the conversation. 

Explain How ‘Piling On’ Can Hurt 

Begin by explaining the difference between intention and impact. You can say: ‘When lots of people react to something all at once, even a small joke can feel like the whole group is laughing at one person. It can sting more than anyone realises.’ This helps your child to understand that in a group chat, the cumulative impact of many small reactions can be very powerful. 

Teach Neutral and Supportive Responses 

Give your child simple, calming phrases they can use to steady the group mood and show support. 

• ‘No worries, that happens to all of us.’ 

• ‘That was brave of you to share.’ 

• ‘Let us move on, what is everyone doing next?’ 

• ‘That was a good effort, keep going.’ 

These phrases shift the focus away from mockery and gently remind others in the group to be respectful. 

Model a Single, Positive Reaction 

Encourage your child to offer one calm or kind comment rather than joining in with a stream of laughing emojis or sarcastic messages. A single ‘It is okay’ or ‘Nice try’ can be enough to positively balance out the dynamic of the group. 

Equip Them with Redirection Strategies 

If the group is starting to ‘pile on,’ teach your child how to gently redirect the conversation. 

• ‘Anyway, who is up for a game tomorrow?’ 

• ‘Okay, moving on – has anyone seen that new video?’ 

This technique allows them to break the momentum of the teasing without having to directly scold anyone. 

Reinforce the Skill Through Practice and Praise 

You can recreate a group chat scenario with your family at the dinner table. Have one person pretend to make a mistake, while others start to ‘pile on,’ and then let your child practise their calming or redirecting phrases. When they tell you about a real-life situation where they used this skill, affirm their actions: ‘That was a very thoughtful thing to do. you helped change the mood without shaming anyone.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Choosing Words That Heal, Not Harm 

The noble Quran warns believers against mockery and reminds us that even small words or jokes can cause deep wounds. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames…’ 

This verse is a direct reminder that piling on with mockery, even through emojis or jokes, is a form of the ridicule that Islam prohibits. Children can be taught that every group chat is an opportunity to live this command by choosing respect over laughter at someone else’s expense. 

The Prophet’s ﷺTeaching on True Brotherhood 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the duty of a believer is to protect their brother or sister in faith, not to join in causing them harm. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, 244, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The Muslim is the brother of another Muslim. He does not wrong him, nor does he forsake him, nor does he despise him.’ 

This hadith makes it clear that being part of a group means protecting the dignity of others, not abandoning them to humiliation. A parent can say: ‘When you calm a group chat down instead of piling on, you are practising what the Prophet ﷺ taught. You are not forsaking your friend when they are feeling embarrassed.’ 

By tying digital behaviour to the Quran and Sunnah, children learn that kindness in their group chats is not just about good manners, but is an expression of their faith.