What is a good way to address ‘he said, she said’ situations fairly between siblings? 

Parenting Perspective 

Listen to Both Sides Individually 

When siblings are each blaming the other, the goal is not to find the ‘winner’ but to teach accountability. It is best to first separate the children so they can calm down. Then, listen to each child’s side of the story individually, giving them your full attention. Rather than taking sides, focus on each child’s role in the conflict: ‘I understand you were upset, but shouting was not the right response. What could we do differently next time?’ 

Teach Resolution, Not Blame 

Encourage your children to suggest solutions to the problem, rather than just dwelling on who is to blame. If they are young, you can guide them with suggestions like, ‘How about we use a timer to take turns?’ It is important to praise any effort they make towards a peaceful resolution: ‘I really appreciate that you both listened to each other and agreed to share.’ This teaches them that making peace is more important than being right. 

Build a Culture of Fairness 

By addressing arguments with patience and focusing on problem-solving, you build a culture of fairness in your home where siblings feel heard and learn to resolve conflicts respectfully. 

Spiritual Insight 

Make Peace Between Your Brothers 

Islam teaches that reconciliation is a central pillar of maintaining peace among believers, and this is especially true for siblings. The Quran commands us to make peace between our brothers and sisters, reminding us that this is a way to earn the mercy of Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

Reconciling is Better Than Worship 

This powerful hadith teaches that the act of making peace between people holds a higher rank than even some voluntary acts of worship. This shows the immense value that Islam places on preserving harmony and resolving disputes. 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, 4919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Shall I not inform you of what is better in degree than fasting, prayer, and charity? They said: Yes. He said: Reconciling between people, for spoiling relations is the shaver (of religion).’ 

An Opportunity for Justice and Compassion 

When you remind your children that making peace is a core part of their faith, they begin to see arguments not as battles to be won, but as opportunities to practise compassion and justice. This perspective nurtures a sense of responsibility and mercy within the family.