What Is a Gentle Way to Balance Humour and Kindness Online? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children love to be funny, and a shared sense of humour can be a wonderful way for them to connect with their friends online. However, it is very easy for online jokes to cross the line into sarcasm, teasing, or outright mockery. By teaching your child how to balance their natural playfulness with kindness, you can help them to build healthy friendships and avoid causing unintentional hurt. 

Explain the Difference Between Laughing With and Laughing At 

Give your child a simple and clear distinction that can act as their guide. You could explain, ‘A good, kind joke is one that makes everyone laugh, including the person the joke is about. A hurtful joke is one that makes someone feel small, embarrassed, or laughed at.’ This simple distinction helps them to judge their own humour wisely. 

Guide Them Towards Safe and Kind Humour 

You can encourage your child to focus their humour on topics that are light-hearted and safe for everyone. Suggest that the best kinds of jokes are often: 

• Playful jokes about themselves (self-deprecating humour). 

• Jokes about silly situations or things that have happened. 

• General, fun observations that are not aimed at anyone’s personal traits. 

This helps to keep their laughter light and inclusive. 

Practise Playful, Unkind Humour at Home 

You can model this kind of gentle humour in your daily interactions. For example, if you drop a spoon, you might say with a laugh, ‘That was silly of me, it looks like the spoon was in a hurry to get away!’ Your child can then practise responding in a similar tone: ‘It wanted to go for a slide!’ This shows them how humour can be playful without being personal or unkind. 

Teach Them the ‘Kindness Check’ 

Encourage your child to develop the habit of pausing before they post a joke. You can teach them to perform a quick ‘kindness check’ by asking themselves, ‘If this joke was about me, would I still find it funny?’ This moment of pause helps to prevent impulsive, hurtful humour. 

Acknowledge and Praise Their Gentle Humour 

When you see your child make others laugh in a kind and inclusive way, be sure to acknowledge it. You could say, ‘I really liked how your joke earlier was so funny and did not hurt anyone’s feelings. That showed real thoughtfulness.’ This reinforces the idea that humour rooted in kindness is highly valued. 

By guiding their boundaries and celebrating their positive humour, you help your child to learn the profound lesson that shared laughter should be a tool for building friendships, not for breaking them. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages bringing joy and happiness to the hearts of others but strictly warns against mockery, ridicule, or any words that might cause harm. Humour was a part of the prophetic character, but it was always gentle, truthful, and respectful. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Mu’minoon (23), Verse 3: 

‘And those people that abstain from frivolous gossip.‘ 

This verse is a defining characteristic of a true believer. It reminds us that believers actively avoid any form of speech that is harmful or empty, and this includes any humour that is intended to wound another person. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1990, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘I do joke, but I only say what is true.’ 

This hadith provides the perfect model for a believer’s humour. It shows that the Prophet ﷺ himself used humour, but his jokes were always gentle, based in truth, and completely free of any harm, lies, or exaggeration. 

When children learn to balance their humour with kindness, especially online, they are following the beautiful prophetic model of bringing joy to others without causing any hurt. These important habits help them to grow into people whose words are a source of laughter, warmth, and respect a true and beautiful reflection of their faith in their daily lives.