What is a fair way to repair after taking turns unfairly in a game? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child skips turns, cheats slightly, or insists on playing more than their fair share, it can quickly spoil the fun of a game and cause tension between friends or siblings. When they later regret their actions and want to make things right, you have an opportunity to teach them about fairness, honesty, and restoring trust. These are values that go far beyond board games and can shape how they approach friendships, teamwork, and responsibility throughout their life. 

Understand Why Children Take Turns Unfairly 

A child might break the rules of turn-taking for several different reasons. 

• Impatience: They are so excited that they do not want to wait for their next turn. 

• Fear of losing: They may think that bending the rules will give them a better chance of winning. 

• Testing limits: They are curious to see what they can get away with. 

Teach the Importance of Fair Play 

Explain that fairness is what makes games enjoyable for everyone. 

• ‘Games only work when everyone agrees to follow the same rules.’ 

• ‘If you do not wait for your turn, the other players will stop enjoying the game.’ 

This helps your child to see that fairness is not just about rules, but about respecting everyone’s enjoyment. 

Show Them a Clear Path to Repair 

If your child feels guilty after taking a turn unfairly, you can show them some practical ways to repair the situation. 

• Apologise directly: ‘I am sorry that I skipped your turn just now. That was not fair of me.’ 

• Offer to make it right: ‘You can take two turns now to make up for it,’ or, ‘Let’s restart the game and play fairly this time.’ 

• Agree on fair rules together: Involve your child in setting the rules for turn-taking before you begin to play again. 

Model a Calm Script for Apologising 

If your child feels shy or embarrassed about apologising, you can practise with them. 

Parent (acting as the friend): ‘You skipped my turn. That is not fair!’ 

Child: ‘You are right. I am sorry. You can have my next turn if you like.’ 

Parent: ‘Thank you for making it fair again.’ 

Encourage Prevention for the Future 

Once the situation has calmed down, you can talk to your child about how to handle their feelings of impatience in the future. You could ask: ‘What could you do next time you feel too excited to wait for your turn?’ You could encourage ideas like taking a few deep breaths, cheering for the other player, or holding a small toy while they are waiting. 

Celebrate Their Efforts to Repair 

It is important to praise their willingness to make things right: ‘I am so proud that you let your sibling have an extra turn to make things fair. That showed real integrity.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

When your child makes amends after being unfair in a game, they are learning that fairness strengthens relationships, restores trust, and is pleasing to Allah. By giving them practical ways to repair the situation and linking the principle of fairness to their Islamic teachings, you show them that justice matters in every part of life. 

Justice Is a Command from Allah 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice; indeed, the enlightened direction to you from Allah (Almighty) is (a beneficial) endowment…’ 

This verse reminds us that justice is a command from Allah, not just in big, important matters but in our daily lives as well. Teaching your child to play fairly and to repair the situation when they have been unfair is a way of practising justice in its simplest form. 

Fairness Is a Part of Good Character 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1329, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, the most beloved of people to Allah on the Day of Resurrection is the just leader, and the most hated to Allah and the furthest from Him is the tyrannical leader.’ 

Although this hadith speaks of leadership, its lesson can be applied to children as well: fairness brings a person the love of Allah, while unfairness pushes people away. By giving others their rightful turn, your child is learning to practise justice even in their play, a habit that will grow with them into adulthood and bring them closer to their Lord.