Parenting Perspective 

Public shaming at home, even if unintended, can deeply affect sibling relationships. When one child feels humiliated in front of others, it can lead to feelings of betrayal and resentment. Sibling dynamics may shift as one child feels unfairly targeted, and the other may feel guilty. Reuniting siblings after public shaming requires a fair and balanced approach that acknowledges the hurt caused and restores emotional safety and mutual respect. 

Acknowledge the Harm and Offer a Sincere Apology 

The first step is to acknowledge the emotional damage caused by the public criticism. Taking responsibility is essential in showing that you understand the weight of the situation. 

• What to do: Start by saying, ‘I realise I made a mistake by publicly shaming you, and I deeply regret it. I understand how hurtful that must have been, and I am truly sorry.’ 

• Why it works: Acknowledging the mistake and offering a sincere apology helps the child who was hurt feel that their feelings are validated. 

Give Each Sibling a Chance to Share Their Feelings 

After an apology, it is essential to create a space where both siblings can express their feelings openly and without fear of judgement. Allow each child to share how the situation affected them. 

• What to do: Encourage an open conversation, saying something like, ‘I want to hear how you both feel about what happened. I understand this may have been difficult for both of you.’ 

• Why it works: Open communication allows the siblings to express their emotions and perspectives, which can strengthen their bond. 

Restate the Value of Both Siblings 

To prevent future feelings of unfair treatment, it is crucial to reinforce the value of both siblings equally. Reaffirming that each child brings something special to the family can help restore a sense of balance. 

• What to do: After hearing from both siblings, say something like, ‘I want both of you to know that you are equally valued and important in our family. Each of you has unique qualities and strengths.’ 

• Why it works: Affirming the value of each child helps prevent feelings of inferiority or favouritism and reduces feelings of competition. 

Offer Equal Opportunities for Positive Reinforcement 

A key part of the healing process is providing each sibling with equal opportunities to succeed and receive positive reinforcement. Celebrating each sibling’s successes equally helps balance the dynamic. 

• What to do: Give both children the same level of attention and support in their personal growth. For example, ‘Both of you will be given opportunities to lead in family activities in a way that is equally valued.’ 

• Why it works: Offering equal opportunities for positive reinforcement helps to restore the sense of fairness in the family. 

Encourage Reconnection through Shared Fun Activities 

Once the emotional healing has begun, reconnecting siblings through positive, shared experiences is crucial. Fun, low-pressure activities that foster cooperation and laughter will help them bond again. 

• What to do: Plan an activity that encourages cooperation, such as working together on a family project or playing a cooperative game. You could say, ‘How about we play a game where you work together as a team?’ 

• Why it works: Collaborative activities allow siblings to experience joy together without the pressure of competition or judgement. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Importance of Peace and Reconciliation 

The noble Quran emphasizes the importance of making peace between brothers and sisters. Restoring peace after a conflict, especially one involving public shaming, reflects the Islamic value of reconciliation. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘ Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

Allah reminds us that peace, mercy, and compassion are key to healthy relationships. 

The Foundation of Brotherhood and Unity 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasize the importance of supporting and standing up for each other in difficult times. After public shaming, it is essential to restore the sibling bond by promoting mutual respect and empathy. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim; he neither wrongs him nor lets him down.’ 

A fair plan to reunite siblings should reflect the Prophet’s ﷺ teachings of brotherhood, where they uplift each other and restore peace. By creating fairness and providing opportunities for positive interaction, you can restore the emotional balance and create a stronger sibling bond based on mutual respect and understanding.