What is a calm script when jealousy flares during shared activities? 

Parenting Perspective 

Jealousy can spark quickly between siblings, particularly during shared activities like playing a game, reading a book with a parent, or even helping in the kitchen. One child might suddenly feel overlooked, begin to complain about unfairness, or actively try to disrupt the moment. Having a calm, ready script helps you to respond in a way that does not escalate the rivalry, while also teaching both children about empathy and patience. 

Acknowledge the Feeling First 

Begin by showing the child who is feeling jealous that you see and understand their emotion, without any judgement. This simple act of validation helps to soften their defensiveness and makes them more open to guidance. 

• ‘I can hear that you are feeling a little bit left out right now.’ 

• ‘It looks like you were hoping to have more of my attention just then.’ 

Reassure Fairness Without Over-Explaining 

It is important to avoid getting drawn into long, drawn-out arguments about what is ‘fair’. Instead, keep your words brief, reassuring, and steady. 

• ‘Right now, it is your sibling’s special turn with me. Your special turn will be coming next.’ 

• ‘You can be sure that there is always enough of my love and time for both of you.’ 

Redirect to a Helpful Role or Task 

Give the waiting child a small but important job to do. This gives them a positive way to stay involved in the activity without directly competing for your attention. 

• ‘While you wait, could you be the official timer for your sibling’s turn?’ 

• ‘Please could you choose the next game that we will all play together?’ 

Close With Connection 

When the child who was feeling jealous manages to wait patiently, make sure you notice and acknowledge it. 

• ‘I saw how patiently you waited while your sibling was having their turn. That showed real kindness and strength.’ 

• Child: ‘You are always helping her, not me!’ Parent: ‘I hear that you are feeling left out. Right now, I am finishing this page with your sister, and then it will be your special turn. Thank you for waiting so kindly for me.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Jealousy is a natural human feeling, but Islam teaches us to manage it with a commitment to fairness, a sense of gratitude, and a genuine love for others. Shared family moments are the perfect training ground for guiding children towards these values. 

Avoiding Rivalry and Envy 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verses 32: 

‘ And do not begrudge what benefactions have been given by Allah (Almighty), some of you instead of others; for the men is a share of what they have earnt (through their hard work), and for the women, is a share of what they have earnt (through their hard work); and (if you wish for more) ask Allah (Almighty) from His benefactions (to give you more)…’ 

This verse reminds us that the different strengths and situations of people are from Allah. Instead of feeling envy, we should have gratitude for our own share and trust in Allah’s fairness. 

The Prophet ﷺ on Brotherhood 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6065, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Do not envy one another, do not inflate prices against one another, do not hate one another, and do not turn away from one another, but be servants of Allah as brothers.’ 

This hadith teaches us that jealousy and rivalry are destructive to relationships, while kindness, fairness, and mutual respect are what strengthen the bonds between believers. 

By using a calm script in moments of jealousy, you show your children that your love is not divided but is available to be shared with everyone. They learn that patience is a crucial part of family life and that fairness, trust, and gratitude are far stronger than rivalry.