What is a calm plan when a child rages after losing a game? 

Parenting Perspective 

Games are meant to be fun, but losing can trigger strong feelings in children: slamming pieces, shouting, or even storming off. While it is tempting to scold, the real teaching moment is helping them handle disappointment with patience and respect. A calm plan gives structure for these emotional outbursts. 

Step 1: Pause the Game Calmly 

Do not match their anger with your own. Say firmly but gently: 

• ‘I see you are upset. Let us pause until we calm down.’ 

This shows the priority is emotional control, not finishing the game. 

Step 2: Name the Feeling 

Help them put words to their frustration. Naming the emotion lowers its power. 

• ‘You feel angry because you lost.’ 

• ‘It is hard when the game does not go your way.’ 

Step 3: Model Respectful Responses 

Show them healthier alternatives. 

• ‘When I lose, I say “good game” even if I feel upset.’ 

• Practise phrases together like: “I will try again next time.” 

Step 4: Reinforce the Positive Later 

After they calm down, praise small improvements. 

• ‘You cooled off quicker than last time. That showed strength.’ 

• ‘You finished the game even though you were upset. That is maturity.’ 

A mini-dialogue example: 

Child: (throws cards on the floor) 

Parent: ‘I see you are angry about losing. We will pause until you calm down. When you are ready, we can reset the cards and try again.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Disappointment is a normal part of life. Games provide a safe way for children to practise patience and humility. Islam teaches us to control anger and accept outcomes with dignity. 

Controlling Anger 

This reminds us that holding back anger is an act of goodness beloved to Allah Almighty. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Aalai Imran (3), Verse 134: 

‘ Those (the believers are the ones) that spend (in the way of Allah Almighty) in times of abundance and hardship; they suppress their anger; and are forgiving to people; and Allah (Almighty) loves those who are benevolent.’ 

The Prophet ﷺ on True Strength 

This Hadith shows the immense reward for holding back anger, even when it feels strong. This is a lesson we can pass to children when helping them calm after losing. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, 47, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The one who controls his anger while being able to act upon it, Allah will call him before all of creation on the Day of Resurrection and will let him choose of the Hur al-‘Ayn whomever he wishes.‘ 

By guiding your child with a calm plan, you turn rage into a learning opportunity. Over time, they will see that losing is not shameful but a chance to practise patience, resilience, and good character values that benefit both family life and faith.