What is a better way to get my child to listen the first time, without relying on fear or threats? 

Parenting Perspective 

Connection and Clarity Over Coercion 

It takes connection and clarity to get a child to listen the first time, not coercion. Children react more favourably when they feel protected and seen than when they feel threatened. Slow down instead of using fear-based methods or stronger orders each time. Get close. Make friendly eye contact, kneel down to their level, and say plainly, I need you to stop and come here now. Shouting conveys less authority than a steady, controlled tone. 

Building a Foundation of Trust 

Your child will start to correlate your words with significance if you constantly follow through, without getting upset but with a stern but quiet demeanour. They discover that you mean what you say. This strategy improves the relationship as well. Children pay more attention to those with whom they have an emotional bond. The basis for cooperation is laid by regular playtime, affection, and eye-level communication. If listening turns into a struggle, consider whether this is an instance of disconnection or disobedience. They will trust your advice more and not only follow your instructions if you lead with emotional presence rather than threat. And the root of long-lasting discipline is trust, not fear. 

Spiritual Insight 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ never led with threats. His authority came not from fear, but from love, consistency, and deep emotional presence. He corrected behaviour with gentleness and earned loyalty through his kindness. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1922, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

“Whoever does not show mercy to the people, Allah Almighty will not show mercy to him. “

This Hadith provides a reminder that having mercy is a spiritual necessity rather than a choice. The type of relationship we are modelling between servant and Lord is reflected in the way we speak to our children, particularly when they need correction. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 53: 

“And informed My servants that they should speak in only the most politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan (is always ready) to infuse anarchy between them…. “

This verse urges us to use words that bring people together and encourage them rather than those that divide or agitate. Although harsh language can temporarily manage behaviour, it damages relationships. Shaytan flourishes in those spaces, not only between parents and children but also between adults. You are not being soft; rather, you are being prophetic when you substitute polite, regular communication for threats. You are teaching your child that mercy has power, that respect is reciprocal, and that authority may exist without fear. This is how the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ lived out his legacy in the day-to-day experiences of parenthood.