What if they copy swearing alongside physical behaviour? 

Parenting Perspective 

Hearing your child copy swear words while also hitting, pushing, or stomping can be both shocking and upsetting. It is natural to feel embarrassed or anxious that they are developing poor habits. It is important to remember that children often repeat words and actions without fully understanding their impact. They are testing boundaries and reactions, and your calm and consistent response is the key to helping them move past this phase. 

The Importance of a Calm and Firm Response 

When your child swears or acts aggressively, it is crucial not to laugh or overreact. Both anger and amusement can inadvertently encourage the behaviour to be repeated. 

• Intervene immediately but calmly, saying: ‘We do not use those words in our family. They can be very hurtful.’ 

• Address both behaviours together with a simple, clear instruction: ‘We use gentle hands and kind words.’ 

• Keep your tone steady and firm to show that you are serious, but avoid shaming them. 

Teaching Respectful Alternatives 

Children need to be equipped with constructive tools to replace these harmful words and actions. 

• Offer substitute phrases they can use when frustrated, such as ‘I am so angry’ or ‘That is not fair.’ 

• Redirect their physical energy towards safe outlets, like squeezing a cushion, running on the spot, or clapping their hands. 

• Use role-play during calm moments to practise choosing respectful words and actions over aggressive ones. 

Connecting Behaviour to Feelings 

Help your child make the connection between the emotion they are feeling and the choices they are making. 

• You could say, ‘When you hit your brother and used that word, I could see you were feeling very angry. But those choices hurt him.’ 

• Guide them towards a better future choice: ‘Next time, can you use your words to tell me you feel upset?’ 

This helps them understand that hurtful words and aggressive actions are both unacceptable. 

Reinforcing Positive Choices 

Whenever your child successfully manages their frustration by using kind words or calming down without resorting to swearing or hitting, make sure to acknowledge it. 

• ‘I really liked how you told me you were upset just now without using any rude words. That was wonderful.’ 

• Offer affection, positive attention, or a small privilege to reinforce their progress. 

Through your consistency and calm authority, your child will gradually learn that kindness and respect hold far more power than aggression and foul language. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places immense importance on the purity of our speech and the gentleness of our actions, seeing them as reflections of our inner faith. 

Guidance from the Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verses 53: 

‘And inform My servants that they should speak in only the politest manner (when they speak to the extremists in disbelief); indeed, Satan is (always ready for) infusing anarchy between them, as indeed, Satan is the most visible enemy for mankind.‘ 

This verse is a powerful reminder that our words have significant weight. Speaking with kindness is a form of protection against the discord sown by Shaytan. By guiding your child away from foul language, you are teaching them to use their words to build peace rather than to create conflict. 

Guidance from the Hadith 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1734, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer is not one who taunts, curses, speaks obscenely, or abuses.’ 

This hadith unequivocally states that foul language and abusive behaviour are inconsistent with the character of a true believer. By helping your child overcome these habits, you are actively nurturing in them the noble character that is beloved by Allah. Teaching your child that both swearing and aggression are unacceptable is not just a lesson in manners; it is a means of protecting their spiritual wellbeing. With your patient guidance, they will learn that true strength is found in kind words, gentle actions, and a heart that chooses peace over causing harm.