What if the school says my child is ‘fine’ but I disagree? 

Parenting Perspective 

Understanding Masking and Gathering Evidence 

It can feel deeply discouraging when a teacher or school insists your child is “fine” while you see daily struggles at home. Many children mask their difficulties in public and save their big emotions for the people they trust most, you. This does not mean you are imagining things or making a fuss. 

Try to calmly gather clear evidence of what you see. Keep simple notes of specific behaviours, how often they happen and how they affect your child’s daily life. If possible, include examples from different situations, such as at home, during family outings or at places like the mosque. Gently explain to the school that just because a child appears settled in class does not always mean they are coping well inside. You might say, “I know my child best, and I feel they need more help.” 

Requesting Further Observations and a Second Opinion 

Ask if the teacher can do extra observations at different times of day or involve the SENCO for another point of view. Stay open to what the teacher sees too, they may notice strengths you have not seen yet. If you still feel your child’s needs are not being recognised, remember you have the right to ask for an independent assessment or to get advice from your local SENDIASS service. 

Keep all communication polite, calm and in writing if you can. This helps protect your child’s record and shows the steps you have taken if you ever need to push for more support. Always remember, you are not causing trouble. You are your child’s voice when they cannot explain what they feel. Even small extra help at school can make a big difference to how safe, included and confident your child feels each day. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam reminds us that protecting our children’s well-being is a trust from Allah Almighty, and speaking up for them, even when it feels awkward or tiring, is a noble form of worship. When you feel unheard, remember that Allah Almighty knows every hidden worry in your heart. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Imran (3), Verse 159: 

‘So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. ‘

This Ayah teaches us that gentleness opens doors that harshness cannot. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 3671, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

‘Be kind to children and perfect in your upbringing of them. ‘

This Hadith Shareef reminds us that striving for your child’s needs to be seen and met is not an inconvenience, it is part of the trust you hold as a parent. Make sincere Dua that Allah Almighty grants you clarity and wisdom to speak effectively. Trust that He sees your quiet persistence, your patient emails, and your gentle but firm advocacy. When others do not see what you see, rely on the One who is Al-Baseer, the All-Seeing. Every effort you make is known to Him and rewarded, even when it feels invisible in this world. May He grant you strength and open doors that bring your child the support they truly deserve.