What if my child starts rolling their eyes because they saw it elsewhere? 

Parenting Perspective 

While it may seem like a small gesture, eye-rolling carries a powerful message of dismissal and disrespect. When children copy this behaviour from friends, media, or even other adults, it can quickly become a habit that undermines communication and harmony in the home. Your role is to address this behaviour early, calmly, and consistently, teaching your child that even their body language is a reflection of their manners. 

Why Children Copy Eye-Rolling 

Understanding the motivation behind this gesture allows you to respond with firm guidance rather than simple frustration. Children often roll their eyes because: 

• They see it used as a quick and effective way to show defiance or frustration. 

• They associate the gesture with being “cool,” witty, or grown-up. 

• They enjoy the strong reaction it often provokes from parents or siblings. 

Set a Clear Standard 

Address the behaviour directly and without drama the moment it happens. 

‘Rolling your eyes is a disrespectful gesture. If you are feeling upset or disagree with something, you need to use your words to tell me how you feel.’ 

This shows your child that the gesture is not ignored and will not be tolerated. 

Teach Alternative Expressions 

Explain that while it is perfectly acceptable to feel frustrated, there are better ways to express it. Teach them specific phrases they can use instead. 

• ‘I am feeling annoyed right now.’ 

• ‘I need a moment before I answer, please.’ 

This equips them with constructive communication tools to replace a disrespectful habit. 

Stay Calm and Consistent 

Do not allow an eye-roll to draw you into a power struggle or an argument. Calmly correct the action, repeat the family rule, and ask them to try their response again in a respectful manner. Over time, the lack of a dramatic reward for the eye-rolling will help to extinguish the habit. 

Reinforce Respectful Responses 

When your child manages to express their disagreement or frustration politely, praise that choice specifically. 

‘I really appreciate you telling me you were frustrated without rolling your eyes. That shows real maturity.’ 

Positive reinforcement is what strengthens the better habits you want to cultivate. By addressing the gesture, offering alternatives, and reinforcing respect, you help your child learn that non-verbal actions are just as important as words in showing good character. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam places great emphasis on humility (khushu’) and respect in all our interactions. The act of rolling one’s eyes in defiance or mockery is a physical manifestation of arrogance (kibr), a quality that is repeatedly condemned in our faith. 

Gestures of arrogance and dismissal are disliked by Allah, as they reveal pride in the heart. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 18: 

‘And do not turn your cheek from people (in pride and contempt), and do not walk on the Earth in self-glory; indeed, Allah (Almighty) does not love those (people who believe in) self-aggrandizement and boasting.‘ 

This verse reminds us that even our physical posture and gestures are a reflection of our inner state. Contempt for others, shown through body language, is a sign of arrogance. 

Arrogance, even in the smallest amount, is a serious barrier to spiritual success. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 91, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who has in his heart the weight of a mustard seed of arrogance shall not enter Paradise.’ 

This profound hadith teaches us the grave danger of arrogance, whether it is expressed through words, thoughts, or dismissive gestures like eye-rolling. By guiding your child to replace these actions with respectful communication, you are nurturing humility and good character. They learn that every action, even a silent one, reflects their manners and their standing before Allah.