What if my child lies to protect a friend who has done something wrong? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child lies to protect a friend, it is often an act of misguided loyalty, not defiance. Your role as a parent is to help them understand that being a good friend should never come at the cost of being dishonest. 

Differentiate Between Support and Dishonesty 

Explain to your child that being a true friend does not mean hiding another person’s mistake. You can say, ‘Real support is about helping someone to do the right thing, not helping them to hide what is wrong.’ This helps to redefine loyalty in a positive, constructive way. 

Teach Alternatives to Lying 

Help your child to see that there are alternatives to lying. They can choose to remain silent, or they can encourage their friend to tell the truth. You can also explain that by covering for a friend, they are making the problem bigger and potentially taking on blame that is not theirs to carry. 

Reassure Them of Your Support 

Let your child know that you will always support them when they choose to be honest. Knowing that they have your backing gives them the courage to resist peer pressure and stand for what is right. By showing them that loyalty and honesty can work together, you help them to grow into someone who protects others in the best possible way. 

Spiritual Insight 

Do Not Cooperate in Sin 

Islam teaches that believers must not cooperate in falsehood. While we should be loyal to our friends, that loyalty must be in the cause of righteousness. Lying to cover for a friend is a form of cooperation in sin, which is forbidden. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 2: 

‘And participate with each other to promote righteousness and piety, and do not collaborate in the committal of any sin or moral transgression…’ 

True Support is Preventing Wrongdoing 

This profound hadith teaches that the truest and most sincere form of friendship is to help a person to stop doing wrong. A real friend does not help their friend to hide a mistake, but rather helps them to correct it. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, 2444, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Help your brother whether he is an oppressor or oppressed.’ The Companions asked: ‘O Messenger of Allah, we understand helping him if he is oppressed, but how do we help him if he is the oppressor?’ He ﷺ replied: ‘By preventing him from oppressing.’ 

Honesty as the Truest Form of Loyalty 

By linking honesty to both true friendship and faith, you give your child clarity. They learn that real friends do not ask you to lie for them, but instead help you to do what is pleasing to Allah. Over time, they will come to see that truthfulness is the highest form of both loyalty and righteousness.