What Helps with Transitions So Excitement Does Not Explode into Roughness? 

Parenting Perspective 

Transitions, whether from one activity to another or from a state of calm to one of excitement, are often the moments when a child’s energy can spill over into chaos. A child who goes from a quiet activity like reading to the sudden excitement of visitors arriving can easily lose control, simply because their body cannot shift gears fast enough. Excitement in itself is not a bad thing; it only becomes roughness when it lacks structure and sensory balance. The key is to help “bridge” these transitions by guiding their nervous system gently between emotional states, instead of expecting them to have instant control. 

Announce Change Early and Predictably 

Sudden transitions can often trigger impulsivity. It is much more effective to give a short, clear warning before a change. 

‘In five minutes, playtime will start. Let us get our bodies ready.’ 

Visual timers, songs, or simple countdowns can help the brain to move more gradually between activities. Predictability helps to build a sense of safety, and safety is what keeps a child’s energy regulated. 

Create ‘Middle Moments’ 

Try to insert short, in-between rituals before any big shifts in activity. 

• Between screen time and play. You could say, ‘Let us do a big stretch and take three deep breaths.’ 

• Between guests arriving and starting to play. ‘Let us greet our guests politely, and then we can show them your new toys.’ 

• Between finishing a meal and starting to move. ‘Let us clear our plates together first.’ 

These micro-transitions give the body a reset signal and reduce the size of the emotional jump. 

Balance Energy With Grounding Activities 

When you notice that your child’s excitement is rising, you can add some grounding physical input. Heavy-work tasks, such as carrying cushions, pushing chairs into place, or doing some wall presses, can help to release their adrenaline in a safe and structured way. You can even call it “power hands” time. This helps them to move from a state of explosive energy to one of focused strength. 

Use a Calm Voice and Contained Body Language 

Children tend to copy their parent’s emotional state more than they listen to their words. When you see that excitement is rising, try to speak more slowly, in a lower and softer tone. Instead of shouting instructions over the noise, it is more effective to step in close, make eye contact, and whisper your directions. Your calm can become their anchor. 

Name the Shift Out Loud 

You can help your child to build their own awareness by labelling what is happening in their body. 

‘Your body is feeling very excited right now. Let us help it to calm down a little before we start our game.’ 

When you name the change, you help them to move from a state of reaction to one of awareness. That small moment of recognition gives them the power to self-regulate the next time. 

Practise Post-Transition Reflection 

After a sense of calm has returned, you can reflect on the moment together. 

‘What helped you to keep your play gentle just now, even when everyone had just arrived?’ 

‘What do you think we could do before the excitement starts next time?’ 

This kind of short, collaborative talk helps to build an anticipation for self-control, rather than an anticipation of being punished after the fact. 

Keep the Home Rhythm Predictable 

Children thrive on rhythm. Simple routines like morning stretches, mid-day movement, and a period of quiet time in the evening can help to build a kind of ‘body clock’ that learns to expect both calm and excitement in natural cycles. The more rhythmic and predictable their day is, the fewer explosive bursts of energy are likely to occur. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches the principle of wasatiyyah, which is balance and moderation in all aspects of our lives. Just as our faith helps us to avoid extremes in our worship, our emotions, and our desires, so too should a child learn a sense of moderation in their energy. A parent who helps their child to balance their joy with a sense of calmness is nurturing both their emotional discipline and their spiritual grace. 

Moderation Is a Mark of Wisdom 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 67: 

‘And it is those people that do not spend extravagantly, nor miserly; and (act in such a way) that is a balanced format between these two (extreme characteristics).‘ 

This reminds us that balance is a divine principle that applies to everything, whether it is too much or too little. Teaching your child to manage their transitions in a calm way is a practical way of applying this same principle to their emotions and their behaviour. 

Calming Excitement as a Form of Strength 

It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4784, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Anger comes from the devil, and the devil was created from fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, let him perform ablution.’ 

This teaches us that a physical act of calmness can help to cool an emotional fire. We can apply this wisdom by guiding our children towards calming actions, such as slow breathing, a drink of cool water, or a moment in a quiet space, whenever their excitement begins to burn too brightly, in order to restore a sense of peace within them. 

You can end your transitions with a short du’a together: ‘O Allah, please bless our joy with calm, and our calm with joy.’ Over time, your child will learn that excitement and peace can coexist. They will learn that true strength lies not in suppressing their joy, but in directing it gently, so their happiness never turns into harm.