What helps when my child shouts “Hurry up!” at others in line? 

Parenting Perspective 

It can be embarrassing when your child shouts ‘Hurry up!’ at others in a queue, whether at a shop or the school gates. Beneath this outburst, however, is often something deeper than rudeness: a mixture of impatience and anxiety. They may feel stuck, powerless, or overlooked, and shouting becomes their attempt to control the situation. The true lesson to be taught here is not about speed, but about self-regulation, and that respect and patience help to keep the peace for everyone. 

Respond Calmly and Privately 

When the outburst happens, lower your own voice instead of raising it. You can whisper firmly, ‘We do not rush people. Everyone deserves their turn, just like we do.’ Guiding them closer to you physically can also bring a sense of calm. Scolding them in public is likely to fuel defiance, whereas a quiet correction models the very calmness you want them to learn. 

Explain Fairness Through Empathy 

Once the moment has passed and they are calm, you can explain what waiting means in human terms. ‘The people in front of us are doing their best. When it is our turn, we will want others to be patient with us, too.’ This helps to connect the concept of patience to empathy. You are helping your child to see that waiting is not about being powerless, but about showing fairness and compassion. 

Teach a Respectful Alternative 

Give your child respectful words to use when their impatience is building. You can practise these beforehand in a calm tone. 

• ‘I am feeling a bit tired of waiting. Can we talk about something while we wait?’ 

• ‘It is taking a while, but that is okay. Our turn will come soon.’ 

Children need to be given the language for these emotional moments. Without alternatives, shouting can feel like their only option. 

Model the Composure You Want to See 

If your child sees you sighing or showing frustration in queues, they will imitate that behaviour. Instead, try to model visible patience by saying, ‘It is a long line, but let us take a breath and wait politely.’ Your tone and posture will teach them more than your words ever could. When you remain relaxed, you are teaching them that emotional steadiness is a family habit. 

Reflect on the Moment Afterwards 

Later, when the situation is over, you can talk about it gently. ‘Remember when you shouted “hurry up”? I know you were feeling frustrated. Next time, let us try to use our quiet words instead. That shows real strength.’ Reflecting after the event allows for true learning, whereas a correction in the heat of the moment can often add to the stress. 

Acknowledge Progress, Not Perfection 

When they manage to wait for longer or speak more politely, acknowledge it with warmth. ‘I noticed you waited without shouting today. That was very respectful and patient of you.’ Praise teaches self-awareness. Over time, your child will begin to recognise patience as something powerful and admirable. 

Spiritual Insight 

Patience and courtesy in public reflect the adab (good manners) that Islam emphasises in every interaction. Teaching a child not to rush others is not just social training; it is a vital part of their moral development. It nurtures sabr (steadfast patience), rahmah (mercy), and ihsan (excellence in behaviour), which are qualities that strengthen both faith and our relationships with others. 

The Quranic Emphasis on Respect 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them…’ 

This verse teaches us to show respect for others and warns against behaviour that belittles or rushes people. By guiding your child away from shouting ‘Hurry up!’, you are teaching them that patience and humility are forms of honour, and that we can never know the effort or struggle of another person. 

The Prophetic Call for Gentleness 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 41, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the one from whose tongue and hand the Muslims are safe.’ 

This hadith highlights the importance of restraint and respect. When a child learns not to rush or shout at others in a line, they are learning how to make others feel safe from their impatience. You are guiding them toward a key marker of true faith: that patience in our speech is a reflection of mercy in our heart. 

Every time your child replaces an impatient shout with quiet patience, they are learning self-respect, compassion, and discipline. Your calm teaching in these small public moments becomes a form of tarbiyyah (moral upbringing), guiding their heart toward humility, kindness, and a faith that Allah Almighty rewards those who wait with grace. In time, they will come to see patience not as a sign of powerlessness, but as the choice of peace over impulse.