What helps when my child laughed along at teasing and now feels guilty? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child laughs along while others are teasing someone, it can feel troubling. On the one hand, they did not start the teasing, but on the other, their laughter may have added to the other child’s hurt. The fact that your child now feels guilty is a valuable opportunity for you to guide them towards empathy, courage, and responsible friendship. 

Explain Why Laughing Along Matters 

A child might often think, ‘I did not say anything mean; I just laughed.’ It is important to explain to them gently that laughter can act as fuel for teasing. 

• ‘When you laugh along, it can make the person who is teasing think that it is okay to keep going.’ 

• ‘The child who is being teased may feel as though everyone in the group is against them.’ 

You can use a mini-scenario to help your child understand: ‘If someone was teasing you, how would you feel if another person started laughing?’ 

Teach Them How to Make Amends 

When your child is feeling guilty, they may not know what to do next. You can show them a clear path to putting things right. 

1. Apologise to the person who was teased: ‘I am sorry that I laughed when you were being teased. It was not the right thing to do.’ 

2. Show them support afterwards: This could be by sitting with them at playtime, inviting them to join a game, or simply saying something kind to help rebuild their trust. 

3. Reflect with their peers if possible: You can encourage your child to say to their friends at a later time, ‘We should not have been teasing him; it was not a kind thing to do.’ 

Provide a Script for Future Situations 

Many children freeze in these difficult social moments. You can offer them some simple phrases they can use if it ever happens again. 

• ‘That is not funny.’ 

• ‘Let’s play something else instead.’ 

• If they do not feel brave enough to speak up, they can simply avoid laughing and walk away from the situation. 

Build Their Courage Step by Step 

Standing up against teasing can feel scary, especially if the group is large. Reassure your child that even small actions matter. Not laughing, walking away, or offering support to the teased child afterwards are all signs of great bravery. 

Encourage Reflection Afterwards 

When your child is feeling guilty, you can guide them to reflect on the situation: ‘What made you laugh in that moment?’, ‘How do you think the other child was feeling?’, and, ‘What could you do differently next time?’ This helps to turn their guilt into a learning experience. 

Praise Their Sense of Responsibility 

Finally, it is important to affirm their effort to make things right: ‘It takes courage to admit that you feel bad about what happened. That shows me that you want to do better, and that is a very good thing.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

When your child laughs at teasing but later feels guilty, it is not simply a mistake to be corrected, but a moment in which to shape their character. By teaching them to apologise, show kindness, and choose courage over group pressure, you are helping them to develop both empathy and strength. Linking this lesson to the Quran and the teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ reminds them that true faith means protecting others, not mocking them. 

Avoiding Words and Actions That Cause Harm 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Humazah (104), Verse 1: 

‘Eternal damnation is for all those who are the slanderers and the backbiters of (innocent people).’ 

This verse reminds us that mocking and teasing others are serious matters. Even laughing along can be seen as a form of support for this behaviour. 

True Faith Means Protecting Others 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 235, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A Muslim is the brother of a Muslim. He does not oppress him, nor does he fail him, nor does he lie to him, nor does he hold him in contempt.’ 

This hadith teaches that being a good Muslim means protecting others, not joining in when they are being hurt. By apologising to the child who was teased and then showing them support, your child is practising the prophetic guidance of standing by their brother or sister in faith. 

Over time, your child will learn that laughter should be something that spreads joy, not pain, and that Allah loves those who seek to defend the dignity of others.