What helps them return a borrowed item right away without reminders? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a scene that every parent knows well: your child borrows a pencil, a book, or a toy, and days later, it is still sitting in their school bag. You may have to remind them once, twice, or maybe even three times, until the other child eventually asks for it back. Your child is not necessarily being careless in these moments; they simply do not yet understand the emotional weight of responsibility. The acts of borrowing and returning items teach us about trust, respect, and self-discipline. The goal is not to scold a child into remembering, but to build their awareness, helping them to connect the act of returning something with a sense of integrity and gratitude. 

Explain Why Promptly Returning Items Matters 

Children are always more likely to cooperate when they understand why something is important. You can tell them, ‘When we borrow something from someone, it means that they have trusted us. Returning it to them quickly shows that we care about that trust.’ Using small, relatable examples can also be very helpful: ‘How would you feel if you lent your favourite toy to a friend and it did not come back for a long time?’ This helps to build their sense of empathy, which is the emotional anchor that lies behind all true responsibility. 

Create a Simple ‘To Return’ Box 

A practical structure can help to make new habits stick. You can keep a small, designated container at home, perhaps labelled ‘To Return’, as a visible spot for any borrowed items. Each evening, you can check it together and talk through what belongs to whom. This helps to turn the abstract idea of responsibility into a visual and tangible routine. Over time, the sight of the box itself can become a gentle reminder, reducing the need for parental nagging. 

Practise the ‘Return the Same Day’ Rule 

You can help your child to associate the act of borrowing with an immediate return, ideally within twenty-four hours. You could even make it into a small and friendly challenge: ‘Let us see if we can return everything we borrow by tomorrow!’ If returning the item on the same day is not possible, you can schedule it clearly: ‘We will be sure to bring the library book back on Wednesday after school.’ This consistency helps to form memory cues; the more predictable the pattern, the stronger their self-discipline will become. 

Praise Prompt and Honest Returns 

Positive reinforcement is what seals a new habit. When your child remembers to return something on their own, you can notice their action in a specific way: ‘You brought that book back without me even having to ask. That shows real responsibility.’ It is important to praise their character, not just the outcome: ‘That shows me that you can be trusted.’ This helps them to feel a sense of pride in their honesty and reliability, not just in their ability to follow a rule. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, keeping a trust (amanah) is considered one of our highest moral duties. The act of returning borrowed items promptly is not just a matter of courtesy; it is an act of faithfulness to both people and to Allah Almighty. When a child learns to return what is not theirs with sincerity, they are walking in the footsteps of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, who embodied honesty in every detail of his life. 

The Importance of Fulfilling Our Trusts (Amanah) 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice; indeed, the enlightened direction to you from Allah (Almighty) is (a beneficial) endowment; indeed, Allah (Almighty) is All Hearing and All Seeing.‘ 

This verse reminds us that returning what belongs to others is a divine command, a reflection of our own fairness and integrity. Teaching your child to do this quickly and willingly helps to nurture both their moral and their spiritual consciousness. 

Honesty as a Foundational Mark of Faith 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 3935, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Return the trust to the one who entrusted it to you, and do not betray the one who betrays you.’ 

Each time your child is able to return something promptly, they are strengthening two important bonds, one with the people around them and one with Allah Almighty. They are learning that faith is lived not only in our acts of prayer, but also in the small, quiet moments of doing what is right, even when no one has to remind us. By guiding them gently in this, you are helping to nurture a soul that values trust, a heart that understands that keeping our promises, even with the smallest of borrowed toys, is an act of integrity that is beloved by Allah.