What helps siblings reconnect after someone got hurt? 

Parenting Perspective 

When one child hurts another, the immediate priority is to calm the situation and tend to the injury. Afterwards, you can guide them through a structured repair process that includes a clear description of what happened, an apology, and a plan for safer play next time. Your goal is not to assign blame, but to restore trust and teach valuable skills for resolving conflict. 

Stabilise the Situation First 

When a child is hurt, connection must come before correction. Attend to the injury and offer soothing words. It is often helpful to separate the siblings for a few minutes to allow emotions to settle. This is a reset, not a punishment. You can say quietly, ‘Everyone is safe now. We will fix this together.’ Children are more likely to open up when they feel protected rather than interrogated. 

Use a Structured Repair Script 

Many families find it easier to reconnect after a conflict by using a shared, predictable script. You can teach your children to move through four simple stages. 

• Name it: ‘I kicked you when we were racing to the door.’ 

• Feel it: ‘You must have felt scared and angry. I feel embarrassed.’ 

• Apologise: ‘I am sorry for hurting you.’ 

• Repair plan: ‘Next time, I will slow down and keep my feet on the floor.’ 

Coach Both Sides of the Interaction 

The injured child also needs to learn how to receive a repair. Coach them to check their own body, identify how they feel, and express a clear boundary: ‘I need to take a five-minute break, and I want a “no kicking” rule when we play again.’ 

Reset the Rules of Play 

If the hurt happened during a game, pause that game for the day and create a simple agreement for the next time. You can write it down in child-friendly language. 

• ‘Feet must stay on the floor.’ 

• ‘We must use the stop word “Pause”.’ 

• ‘If “Pause” is ignored, the game ends for ten minutes.’ 

Handling Resistance to Apologising 

Some children resist apologising because the feeling of shame is unbearable for them. In this situation, reduce the audience, shorten the required words, and offer choices: ‘You can either say your apology or write it down. Which one will help you to do the right thing?’ 

Parent: ‘Tell your brother what happened in one sentence.’ 

Child A: ‘I shoved you when you passed me the ball.’ 

Parent: ‘Now, name one feeling.’ 

Child A: ‘I felt jealous.’ 

Parent: ‘Okay, now say your apology and your plan.’ 

Child A: ‘I am sorry. Next time, I will call out “My turn” instead of shoving.’ 

Keep the Repair Brief, Then Reconnect 

After the repair is complete, invite the children to join in a brief, positive activity that does not repeat the trigger, such as a quiet puzzle or a shared snack. End with a reinforcing line: ‘In our family, we fix the harm that we cause and we protect each other.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Reconnecting after a moment of hurt is a deeply spiritual act. By guiding your children through this process, you are teaching them to value truth, responsibility, and mercy over pride. Islam honours those who repair their relationships and restrain their anger for the sake of Allah Almighty. 

The Quranic Emphasis on Reconciliation 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shuraa (42), Verse 40: 

‘And the outcome (of defending) against an evil, (could be the formation) of an evil similar to it; so therefore, whoever offers amnesty and reconciliation, then his reward shall be with Allah (Almighty)…’ 

This verse reminds us that while justice is permitted, choosing the path of reconciliation brings a special reward from Allah Almighty and restores peace to our hearts. 

The Prophetic Teaching on Making Peace 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 2509, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Shall I not inform you of what is more virtuous than the rank of fasting, Salat, and charity? Making peace between each other. For indeed spoiling relations with each other is the shaver.’ 

This hadith teaches us that actively repairing our relationships is a deed of the highest rank, because broken ties can shave away our faith and family harmony. 

Encourage each child to see the other as being more than their mistake. You can also make a short family dua after a repair has been made: ‘O Allah, please put love between our hearts, teach us to stop when play becomes unsafe, and help us to forgive one another for Your sake.’ 

Accountability is not about humiliation; it is about speaking the truth kindly and making a plan to do better. When a child apologises and commits to safer behaviour, you can praise their choice as an act of obedience to Allah Almighty.