What helps rebuild connection if the conflict has become a regular pattern between me and one child? 

Parenting Perspective 

Identifying the Pattern 

It is rarely only behaviour that causes conflict when it occurs frequently with one child. It frequently indicates a more serious break in the relationship a pattern of unfulfilled emotional demands, tension, or alienation on both sides. Consider the following instead of attempting to exert greater control over the child: When do things typically go wrong? Just before I lose it, how do I feel? What message is my child attempting to convey through their actions? 

Breaking the Cycle 

Once you have found the pattern, gently break it. Make a single change: lower your voice, approach more closely before speaking, and reschedule activities that frequently cause conflict. It is possible to avoid escalation by reducing pressure. Investing in warmth unrelated to correction is as vital. Read aloud, draw, or sit next to each other for at least five minutes per day. Do not fix anything or give directions. Even though the day was challenging, say something like, I truly enjoy being with you. These little expressions of joy and presence convey to your child that our bond transcends our disagreements. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that change is possible when we begin with ourselves. Allah Almighty says in Surah Al Ra’ad (13), Verse 11: 

“…..Allah (Almighty) does not alter (the condition) of any nation, unless they start to make positive changes by themselves….” 

This serves as a divine reminder that when confronted honestly, even relational conflict may be changed. Those who fought or struggled the hardest were frequently the ones with whom the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ interacted the most compassionately. He never labelled people by their faults, and he offered presence over punishment. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5788, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

“Do those deeds which you can do easily, as Allah Almighty will not get tired (of giving rewards) till you get bored and tired (of performing religious deeds). The most beloved prayer to the Prophet (ﷺ) was the one that was done regularly (throughout the life) even if it were little. “

After a prolonged fight, re-establishing connection requires everyday consistency in kindness, presence, and intention rather than big repairs. This transcends emotional healing and becomes an act of spiritual development.