What Helps My Child Share About Bullying Attempts Safely? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child is faced with bullying, even in its early stages, fear and confusion can often silence them. They may worry about being labelled a ‘snitch’, feel embarrassed, or fear that speaking up will only make things worse. Helping your child to report bullying safely and clearly involves giving them both the language and the confidence to seek help without shame. This process turns silence into courage and transforms fear into clarity. 

Why Children Often Hide Bullying 

Children frequently keep quiet about being bullied for several reasons: 

• They are scared that adults will overreact or punish someone immediately. 

• They fear retaliation from the person bullying them. 

• They worry that they will seem weak or overly dramatic. 

Your goal is to show that telling an adult is not about getting someone into trouble, but rather about keeping everyone safe. 

Defining What Bullying Is 

First, clarify the difference between a one-time conflict and a pattern of ongoing harm. You might explain, ‘Bullying is when someone keeps hurting, teasing, or scaring another person on purpose, and it does not stop when they are asked.’ When children can name the behaviour, they can recognise it sooner and feel more empowered to act. 

Creating an Emotionally Safe Environment 

Assure your child that their honesty will always be met with calmness, not anger. You can say, ‘If something like that happens, you can always tell me. I will listen first; I will not shout.’ Explain that you will handle the situation discreetly and safely, which helps to lower their fear of escalation. 

Practising How to Speak Up 

Provide your child with short, structured sentences they can use when reporting bullying to a teacher or to you. 

• ‘Someone has been saying hurtful things, and it keeps happening.’ 

• ‘I tried to tell them to stop, but they did not listen.’ 

• ‘I feel worried they will do it again.’ 

• ‘Can you please help me to stay safe?’ 

These phrases keep the communication clear and controlled, explaining the facts and feelings without sounding confused. Role-playing these conversations, with you acting as a teacher or parent, can help them feel more natural and confident. 

Building a Support Network 

Help your child to identify safe adults at their school, such as teachers, counsellors, or assistants, as well as trusted friends who can offer support. Knowing who to turn to can prevent them from feeling frozen or helpless when a difficult situation arises. Consistent, gentle follow-up shows them that their voice matters and that their safety is an ongoing priority. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam calls for justice, the protection of the vulnerable, and courage balanced with compassion. Teaching a child to report harm is an act of integrity, not betrayal. Speaking up against wrongdoing aligns with the prophetic principle of amr bil ma‘ruf wa nahi ‘anil munkar (enjoining good and preventing harm), carried out with wisdom and gentleness. 

Justice and Responsibility in the Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 135: 

‘O you who are believers, remain upright in upholding justice, bearing witness (to such actions) for the sake of Allah (Almighty); even if it goes against your own interest, or that of your parents, or your close relatives…’ 

This verse reminds believers that upholding fairness and truth requires courage. When a child learns to speak up about harm, calmly and honestly, they are practising this early form of standing for justice. 

The Prophetic Guidance on Stopping Harm 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 5008, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever among you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; if he is not able, then with his tongue; and if he is not able, then with his heart and that is the weakest of faith.’ 

This Hadith reflects the principle of taking responsible action when wrong occurs. For a child, using their ‘tongue’ means using their words to inform a trusted adult. This is their way of helping to change a harmful situation and is an act of great strength and faith, not weakness. By speaking up, they are choosing to protect themselves and others from harm, fulfilling a core teaching of Islam in a way that is brave and appropriate for them.