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What helps me stay emotionally present when I am physically with my child?

Parenting Perspective

Emotional presence is not the same as being in the same room. Being present entails not being distracted, multitasking, or emotionally checking out, but rather being intellectually and emotionally open. Consciously pausing to breathe, observe your child’s expression, and give them your whole attention is a useful practice. You might also become more grounded by naming what you see: ‘Your eyes are shining today,’ or ‘You look thoughtful.’ Presence may be maintained by putting electronics away, even for 10 minutes, and showing interest in what your child is doing, sketching, or imagining. Emotional presence is kindness combined with attention; it is not perfection.

Spiritual Insight

Being present is an act of Amanah and mercy. Our children look to us for our presence in their lives, just as we pray for the presence of Allah Almighty. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Taaha (20), Verse 14: ‘Indeed, without any doubt, it is I, Allah (Almighty); there is no one worthy of worship except Me, so worship Me, and establish your prayer in My remembrance.’ The verse serves as a reminder to be mindful in both Salah and daily life. It is recorded in Jami Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 710, ‘The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, ‘Whenever I start the prayer, I intend to prolong it, but on hearing the cries of a child, I cut short the prayer because I know that the cries of the child will incite its mother’s passions.’ This example shows emotional awareness even during worship. A manifestation of spiritual mindfulness is to honour the person in front of you by being emotionally present.

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