What helps me hold boundaries when a toddler throws food again? 

Parenting Perspective 

Toddlers often test boundaries by throwing food. This behaviour is rarely malicious; it is more likely to be an experiment born of curiosity, boredom, or a simple desire to see how you will react. While the behaviour is undoubtedly frustrating, your response is what teaches them whether this is an action worth repeating. The key is to set boundaries that are calm, consistent, and firm, without allowing mealtimes to degenerate into a battle of wills. 

Staying Calm and Neutral 

Reacting with a loud voice or a long lecture can inadvertently turn the act of throwing food into an exciting game for a toddler. Instead, it is far more effective to keep your tone of voice and your facial expression as calm and neutral as possible. 

• Use a simple, firm phrase: ‘Food stays on the table.’ 

• Offer an alternative: ‘If you do not want to eat more, you can say, “All done, please.”’ 

Removing the Food Briefly as a Consequence 

If the food is thrown, a clear, immediate, and logical consequence is needed. This clearly and calmly demonstrates that throwing food results in the food being removed, rather than it resulting in more attention. 

• Gently but firmly take the plate away for a very short pause (perhaps thirty seconds). 

• State the rule calmly: ‘Food is for eating, not for throwing. We can try again.’ 

Teaching Alternative Behaviours 

Toddlers need to be taught a clear replacement behaviour for what you want them to stop doing. Give them a positive action they can perform when they feel they are finished with their meal. 

• Encourage them to push their plate away gently. 

• Teach them to use simple words or hand gestures to signal that they are ‘finished’. 

• Show them how to hand unwanted food back to you calmly. 

The Importance of Absolute Consistency 

If your response is inconsistent sometimes you laugh, sometimes you get angry, and other times you ignore it the toddler will be confused and will continue to test the boundary. It is calm consistency that sets the boundary firmly in their mind. 

• Child: (Throws a piece of food on the floor) 

• Parent: (Calmly) ‘Food stays on our plates. If you do not want it, you can say, “All done.” Let us try again.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

Even an act as routine as eating is an opportunity to build good character. Teaching a toddler to respect their food is not just about table manners; it is an early lesson in showing gratitude for the blessings of Allah. 

Respecting Blessings 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Aa’raaf (7), Verses 31: 

‘ O children of Adam, take (appropriate) measures to beautify yourself (before you appear) at any place of worship (for Prayer); and eat and drink and do not be extravagant (wasteful), as indeed, He (Allah Almighty) does not like extravagance.’ 

This verse reminds us that food is a blessing from Allah that should be honoured and consumed without excess or waste. 

The Prophet ﷺ on Wasting Food 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 750, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When a morsel of food falls, pick it up, remove any dirt, and eat it, and do not leave it for Shaytan.’ 

This hadith teaches a profound lesson in respecting our provisions; wasting food is discouraged to such an extent that even a single fallen morsel should be treated with care. 

By calmly and consistently holding this boundary, you are teaching your toddler both discipline and gratitude. Over time, they learn that mealtimes are not for testing limits, but for appreciating the blessings of Allah with patience and respect.