Parenting Perspective 

When members of the extended family gossip about parents in front of a child, it can cause deep emotional harm and confusion. Children naturally view their parents as their main source of safety and guidance. Hearing this negative talk can shake their foundational trust, leaving them feeling unsure whether to respect or to doubt their parents. 

The Erosion of Trust and Security 

Children who frequently hear their parents being criticised may begin to question their parents’ authority and judgment. This undermines the crucial sense of safety that comes from knowing that their caregivers are the respected and capable leaders of the family. 

Emotional Burden and Divided Loyalties 

When a child hears gossip, they can feel trapped in the middle, torn between their love for their parents and their affection for their other relatives. 

• This loyalty conflict can cause feelings of guilt, sadness, or even anger towards both sides of the family. 

The Risk of Modelling Disrespect 

If children regularly witness adults in their family gossiping about their parents, they may begin to learn that speaking disrespectfully about others behind their backs is an acceptable form of behaviour. This can weaken the important lessons about respect, honesty, and loyalty that parents are striving to instil in them. 

Long-Term Harm to Relationships 

Repeated exposure to gossip can cause a child to distance themselves from their relatives, or it can make them feel ashamed of their own family. It may also cause deep-seated resentment, which could lead the child to withdraw from family gatherings altogether. 

Protecting the Child’s Emotional Wellbeing 

Parents can help to protect their child from this harm by gently addressing the gossiping relatives in private and explaining the damage that their words can cause. At the same time, it is vital to affirm to the child that such words do not define their family. Reassuring them of their parents’ love and integrity can help to repair the damage that is done by overheard gossip. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam strictly forbids gossip and backbiting (ghibah), as these acts are known to harm relationships and erode a person’s dignity. Speaking ill of parents in front of a child is doubly harmful, as it not only breaks this core Islamic etiquette but also disturbs the child’s emotional and spiritual stability. 

The Quranic Condemnation of Gossip 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verses 12: 

‘Those of you who have believed, abstain as much as you can from cynical thinking (about one another); as some of that cynical thinking is a sin; and do not spy (on each other) and do not let some of you backbite against others; would one of you like to eat the meat of his mortally expired brother? Not at all – you would find it repulsive…’ 

This powerful verse strongly condemns gossip, describing it as something detestable and reminding us of how destructive it is for our family bonds. 

The Prophet’s ﷺ Warning 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2589, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘“Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.”’ 

This Hadith makes it clear that speaking ill of others, even if what is being said is true, is a harmful and forbidden act. 

By guarding their speech and modelling respect for one another, relatives can protect not only their own souls but also the tender hearts of the children who are listening. When children grow up seeing their parents being honoured by their extended family, they are able to develop a sense of confidence, loyalty, and respect, which are the foundations for strong faith and healthy family ties.