What happens if I promised a reward and plans change, and how do I repair that trust? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of Broken Promises 

When a promised reward does not materialise, even for a valid reason, a child often feels more than just disappointment; they may feel confused or let down. From their perspective, the issue is not about logistics, but about trust. Your word forms the foundation of their security. If that foundation feels unsteady, even once, they may start to question whether future promises are reliable. 

Responding with Honesty and Empathy 

The first step to mending this trust is to respond with honesty and empathy. It is important to acknowledge their disappointment directly, without making excuses. You could say, ‘I know I promised, and I can see you are upset that it is not happening now’, or ‘I did not keep my word this time, and I am sorry for that’. 

Children do not expect perfection from their parents, but they do need sincerity. Owning your mistake is a powerful way to model accountability and show them how to navigate life’s disappointments with dignity. 

Taking Action to Rebuild Trust 

After apologising, offer a clear and concrete alternative. This is not a bribe to make the disappointment disappear, but rather proof that you still value your word and intend to honour it. For example, you could reschedule the promised outing for a specific date or replace it with another meaningful activity that you can commit to without any doubt. 

The most crucial step is to keep the new promise exactly as you have stated. Over time, your consistency in these moments of repair will strengthen their trust far more than if you had never made a mistake at all. Ultimately, trust is not built on a foundation of perfection, but on the sincerity and effort shown when repairing mistakes. 

Spiritual Insight 

The Divine Command to Fulfil Pledges 

Allah Almighty commands believers to protect their commitments, as every promise holds spiritual significance. Even seemingly small pledges made to a child are not trivial in His sight. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Maaidah (5), Verse 1: 

‘O you who are believers, fulfil all your contractual obligations (with Allah Almighty, fellowman and oneself)…’ 

This verse reminds parents that keeping a promise to a child is an act of faith. When circumstances force a change of plans, acknowledging the failure and making genuine amends is a reflection of one’s obedience to this divine command. 

Prophetic Teachings on Integrity 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ emphasised that breaking one’s word, even in minor matters, can have a corrosive effect on faith. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 5021, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks, he lies; when he makes a promise, he breaks it; and when he is entrusted, he betrays.’ 

This Hadith is a powerful reminder that our children are deserving of the same honesty and reliability that we expect from others. By repairing a broken promise with humility and swift action, parents teach a vital lesson: even when we fall short, a true believer works to restore trust with sincerity. 

In this way, a repaired promise that is faithfully kept transforms from a simple reward into a living example of integrity and Imaan.