Parenting Perspective 

When weddings within a community become competitions in extravagance, with guests comparing venues, outfits, and food, children quickly absorb these materialistic values. Instead of understanding a wedding as a spiritual and family milestone, they may begin to see it as a public contest of wealth and social status. 

The Emotional Impact on Children 

This competitive atmosphere can be emotionally confusing for a child. 

• Shame and Pressure: Children from more modest families may feel embarrassed, believing their own family cannot ‘match up’ to others. 

• Unrealistic Expectations: They may develop a desire for extravagance in their own future celebrations, leading to disappointment or a sense of entitlement. 

• Confusion About Values: A wedding, which should symbolise commitment and blessings, becomes misinterpreted as a status show. 

The Strain on Family Dynamics 

The pressure to compete can create tension within families. Parents may face demands from their children to host more glamorous events to keep up with others. This can lead to financial strain if parents overspend simply to maintain their social standing in the community. 

The Long-Term Risks 

When children are raised in an environment of competitive celebrations, they may internalise the idea that love, respect, and dignity must always be accompanied by a grand display. This can weaken their appreciation for sincerity, humility, and moderation in all aspects of life. 

How to Support Children Through Wedding Culture 

Parents can ground their children with a healthier perspective. 

• Explain the true meaning of marriage as a sacred covenant between two people, not a public showcase. 

• Share stories of simple yet blessed weddings, including those from within your own family history. 

• Emphasise character, faith, and togetherness as the real signs of a successful and happy marriage. 

• Model contentment by attending weddings with joy, without engaging in gossip or comparison. 

This ensures children learn to view weddings as opportunities for gratitude and connection, not for rivalry. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam strongly warns against extravagance and arrogance, especially in moments of celebration. A wedding should be an occasion for seeking blessings through simplicity and gratitude, not an opportunity for competition and pride. 

A Quranic Reminder Against Wastefulness 

The Quran teaches that wasteful spending is not just disliked but is a spiritually harmful act that aligns one with ungratefulness. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 27: 

‘Indeed, those who are extravagant (i.e. wasteful of their wealth) these are the brothers of the Satan, as the Satan has always been ungrateful to his Sustainer.‘ 

This verse serves as a powerful warning that wasteful competition is a serious spiritual failing. 

The Prophetic Example of Simple Weddings 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the wedding feast (walīmah) should be done with sincerity and according to one’s means, not with extravagance. 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 5155, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said to a companion: 

‘Hold a wedding feast, even if only with one sheep.’ 

This hadith shows that the goal is to share joy and seek blessings with simplicity and sincerity, not to compete with others. 

By showing children that Allah blesses sincerity over extravagance, parents can reshape their understanding of what makes a celebration truly successful. This nurtures humility and gratitude, ensuring they see marriage as a sacred bond built on faith and love, not as a race to have the most expensive wedding.