What does it look like to model emotional maturity when siblings are fighting and I feel triggered myself? 

Parenting Perspective 

Sibling arguments can cause emotional turmoil, particularly if you are already under a lot of stress. Emotional maturity in those situations is being anchored, not unaffected. The ability to pause and establish a gap between input and response is the first step. Say to yourself, I am triggered, but I can slow down, if your body feels tense. Then, gently state, One at a time, while kneeling at eye level and clearly breathing. I will hear what you have to say. This brief script teaches children that intense feelings can be controlled, digested, and politely communicated rather than exploding. You are resolving more than simply a dispute by doing this. You are setting an example of how to establish safety without control and exercise authority without resorting to violence. Children in conflict frequently turn to adults for emotional stability rather than judgement. By controlling yourself first, you build an environment where they can start to regain emotional stability as well. Your composure is a sign of leadership, not weakness. Silently but effectively, it teaches children that the one who can remain calm in the face of adversity is the strongest person present. 

Spiritual Insight 

Emotional maturity, especially in moments of conflict, has deep roots in the Sunnah. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺfrequently acted as a mediator between family members and companions with amazing balance, never hastening to punish but always making room for justice, kindness, and understanding. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

“Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy. “

In addition to calling us to step in, this verse exhorts us to do so with the awareness of Allah Almighty and with the intention of bringing about peace, not power. Sibling disputes can result from presumptions and snap decisions. Children internalise that fairness is untrustworthy if parents react with severe judgements or show partiality. However, they see what it means to genuinely fear Allah Almighty and maintain dignity, even in emotionally heated situations, if you listen objectively and react justly. 

Parenting with emotional maturity is not flawless. It is the decision to become a mirror of mercy and balance rather than to give in to the need to respond. Your children might not remember every argument over time, but they will always remember the times you chose peace and remained composed in the middle. That serves as their model for upcoming partnerships.