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What does emotional bonding actually look like for a child under five?

Parenting Perspective

A young child’s emotional attachment is physical, visceral, and rhythmic rather than verbal or abstract. It appears to be being immediately calmed, held when distressed, and played with when curious. Children under five depend on co-regulation; when adults remain composed and trustworthy, they feel safe. Shared activities such as eating, sleeping, singing, and bathing also demonstrate bonding. Your child can infer from your facial expressions whether you are emotionally available throughout these everyday activities. Your relationship is strong and vibrant if your child seeks you out when they are upset, smiles at seeing you, and comes to you for solace.

Spiritual Insight

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ established the standard for how love should be shown by frequently holding children in his arms, kissing them, and displaying obvious adoration. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 5997, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ kissed his grandson and, when questioned by someone who did not, replied: ‘Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully.’ Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Kahf (18), Verse 46: ‘All wealth and offspring are luxuries of the worldly life, but (the outcomes of) virtuosity shall remain forever, and it is deemed the best (action) to be rewarded by your Sustainer, and the best source of hope (for the Hereafter).’ A component of raising offspring is emotional connection; it involves more than merely raising obedient children; it also entails creating safe, emotionally nourished souls that, as they mature, can embody mercy.

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