What do we plan if the other child denies everything and blames them? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a conflict arises and the other child involved refuses to admit to their part in it, even to the point of turning the blame around, your child can be left feeling trapped between the truth and a sense of their own confusion. They may begin to ask themselves, ‘Did I do something wrong?’, or ‘Why will they not just be honest with me?’ Teaching your child how to handle a denial from another person with a sense of steadiness and of dignity can prevent them from internalising a sense of guilt that is not theirs to carry. 

Helping Them to Face Denial Without Doubting Themselves 

It is important to begin by affirming your child’s reality: ‘I believe you. You know what has happened, and that is enough.’ A child in this situation needs to be reassured that being blamed in an unfair way does not mean that they have failed. You can also explain to them that not everyone has the courage to be able to own their own mistakes, and that sometimes, a person’s denial can come from a place of fear, not of malice. This can help them to respond with a sense of calm, rather than with anger. You could say, ‘When someone is blaming you in an unfair way, your job is not to have to prove everything; it is just to stay truthful and kind.’ 

Teaching Them How to Respond Without Escalation 

You can guide your child to remain composed in the face of a denial or a moment of blame. You can teach them some simple phrases that can help to protect their own peace, while also allowing them to stand firm in their own truth. 

• ‘I know what has happened, and I am sorry that you are seeing it in a different way.’ 

• ‘I do not want to argue about this. I just want for us to remain respectful of each other.’ 

• ‘We may not agree on this, but I hope that we can both move on in a kind way.’ 

These phrases can help to end the power struggle in a dignified way. They are able to communicate a sense of confidence without any aggression and can show that your child is valuing a sense of resolution more than they are the idea of winning an argument. 

Helping Them to Process the Feeling of Unfairness 

When a child is wrongly blamed for something, their biggest wound is not from the event itself, but from the feeling of injustice that it can leave behind. It is important to validate this feeling, as it is both real and painful. You can say to them, ‘It can be very hard when you are telling the truth and other people are trying to twist it, but your own honesty still counts, even if no one else is able to see it right now.’ This can help them to find a sense of closure without needing an apology from the other person. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam honours the quality of truthfulness as one of our highest virtues and warns us against the great sin of making a false accusation. It also teaches believers to try to maintain a sense of composure, even when we have been misunderstood. When your child is able to remain calm, to speak their truth just once, and to then entrust the rest of the matter to Allah Almighty, they are practising the beautiful prophetic path of maintaining their integrity in the face of a trial. 

The Quranic Teaching on Patience in the Face of Injustice 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ankaboot (29), Verse 69: 

‘And those people that endeavour (to please) Us (Allah Almighty); so, We (Allah Almighty) shall indeed, guide them (to those pathways) that lead to Us; and indeed, Allah (Almighty) is with those who are benevolent (in their actions).’ 

This verse can help to assure your child that Allah Almighty will always support those who are able to remain steadfast in the truth and in a state of goodness, even when other people may be trying to distort the facts. When they are able to respond with a sense of patience and of dignity, instead of with anger, they are walking on a divinely guided path. 

The Prophetic Example of Finding Strength in Silence 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 26, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Whoever is patient, Allah will make him patient. And no one is given a gift better and more comprehensive than patience.’ 

This hadith reminds us that the quality of patience is not a passive one; it is in fact a powerful form of self-control. When your child is able to hold on to a sense of peace, even when they are being falsely blamed, they are practising this profound gift. In that moment, their silence can become a form of strength, and their restraint can become a form of worship. 

Guiding your child through a moment of false blame can teach them that the truth does not have to depend on the agreement of other people; it is able to stand on its own. They can learn from this that a sense of peace does not always come from having to clear up every misunderstanding, but from knowing that their own conscience is clean. 

Your own belief in them in these moments can become their anchor, a way of proving to them that their own integrity is its own best defence. Over time, they will come to realise that being wrongly accused cannot truly harm them if their own heart remains honest and their own manners remain kind. 

When they are able to quietly say, ‘I know my own truth, and I am choosing to be at peace,’ they will be living one of Islam’s most timeless and most beautiful virtues: a dignified sense of patience that is rooted in the truth and that is illuminated by a deep and sincere trust in Allah Almighty.