What do I try when my child repeatedly ignores the ‘inside voice’ reminder? 

Parenting Perspective 

Few things can test a parent’s patience like constant shouting or loud chatter indoors, especially when the ‘inside voice’ reminder feels endless. You may feel torn between wanting a peaceful home and not wanting to stifle your child’s enthusiasm. The true goal is not to enforce silence, but to teach self awareness, helping your child learn when and how to adjust their tone out of respect for others. 

Understand the Reason for a High Volume 

Children who struggle to lower their voices are rarely being deliberately disobedient. They may be full of energy, testing boundaries, or simply unaware of their own volume. Some children have naturally louder voices or find noise comforting when they feel excited or anxious. Instead of assuming defiance, pause and ask yourself, ‘Is this behaviour driven by emotion, energy, or habit?’ Understanding the reason helps you to choose the right approach, whether that is calm correction, structured breaks, or sensory adjustments. 

Model and Practise the Meaning of an ‘Inside Voice’ 

Children often need concrete examples, not just verbal reminders. Try turning the rule into a game of awareness. 

• Speak in a whisper and say, ‘This is a whisper voice.’ 

• Speak in your normal tone and say, ‘This is an inside voice.’ 

• Speak loudly and say, ‘This is an outside voice.’ 

Then, let your child practise shifting between the three. When the rule is broken later, you can simply say, ‘Inside voice’, and they will know exactly what that means. Teaching through play helps to build mindfulness without frustration. 

Reduce Repetition and Increase Follow Through 

Repeated reminders lose their power when there is no consequence. Instead of saying ‘inside voice’ ten times, say it once and then follow up calmly. 

‘I have asked for an inside voice. If it is too loud again, we will pause our game for a few minutes.’ 

Then, quietly act on it. Consistency matters more than the volume of your own voice. Each steady follow through shows that gentle words still carry authority. 

Spiritual Insight 

Noise and calm both carry spiritual weight. In Islam, gentleness of speech reflects inner discipline and respect for others. Teaching your child to use an ‘inside voice’ is not merely about manners; it is about nurturing an awareness of how our words and tone affect the peace of those around us. 

The Virtue of Gentle Speech in the Noble Quran 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 19: 

‘“And be modest in your attitude and lower your voice (in dealing with people); as indeed, the harshest of all sounds, is the noise of the donkeys”.’ 

This verse reminds us that moderation in voice and movement is a mark of refinement and wisdom. By helping your child to control their volume, you are guiding them toward the very etiquette that Allah Almighty praises: humility expressed through gentleness. A calm voice becomes a form of respect for the home and for those within it. 

The Example of Politeness in the Teachings of the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 48, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.’ 

This Hadith teaches that our words, and the way we express them, are a part of our faith. Encouraging your child to use a kind and measured tone helps them to understand that their voice reflects not only their message, but also their character. Respect in speech is one of the earliest signs of inner discipline. 

When your child ignores the ‘inside voice’ reminder, it is easy to focus only on the noise. But through calm repetition, consistent consequences, and spiritual guidance, that noise becomes a chance to build emotional intelligence. Each time you respond with steadiness instead of irritation, you model self regulation, showing your child that peace is not the absence of sound but the presence of respect. Over time, your consistent calm will echo louder than any shout, teaching your child that strength is quiet, composure is beautiful, and gentleness is the true voice of faith.