What do I say when they want to switch classes to escape feelings? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child begs to switch classes, citing reasons such as, ‘The teacher does not like me,’ or ‘I just cannot handle it anymore,’ it can be tempting to give in. After all, you do not want to see them suffering from daily distress. However, before making any decision, it is vital to understand what they are really asking for. Most of the time, children are not running from other people; they are running from a feeling of discomfort. Your task is to teach them that while certain feelings can be uncomfortable, they are not unmanageable. 

Listen Before You Lead 

It is best to start with a sense of calm curiosity rather than an immediate search for solutions. 

• ‘Tell me what has been happening that makes you want to switch.’ 

• Let them speak without interruption. Often, by simply expressing their frustrations, they can begin to clarify for themselves what is truly bothering them, whether it is a misunderstanding, an unfriendly peer, or the pressure of academic performance. 

Once they have finished speaking, you can reflect back what you have heard: ‘So it sounds like you are feeling anxious because you think the teacher is upset with you, and you are feeling left out by your group.’ This reflection shows understanding before you offer direction, which is a crucial step in earning their trust. 

Distinguish Between Escape and Constructive Change 

There are two types of change in these situations: constructive change, which removes genuine harm or allows for growth, and emotional escape, which avoids discomfort but teaches a dependence on avoidance. You can help your child to think this through by asking, ‘Would switching classes fix the problem, or would it just make the feeling disappear for now?’ This conversation helps to build resilience, which is the ability to face, not flee from, challenging environments. 

Validate the Feeling, Challenge the Fear 

It is possible to comfort your child without coddling them. You could say, ‘I can see that this feels too heavy for you right now. But running away will not make those feelings go away; it just hides them for a while. Let us find some ways to make it feel lighter instead.’ This approach teaches problem-solving instead of avoidance. You can work together to identify specific stress points and then strategise solutions, such as practising communication with the teacher or developing calming responses for before class starts. 

Partner With the School Wisely 

If your child’s distress remains strong, it may be helpful to meet with the teacher privately. It is important not to frame the issue as your child’s ‘failure’. You could say, ‘My child has been feeling a bit discouraged in class recently. I was hoping we could find some small adjustments to help them feel more comfortable.’ If serious emotional harm is occurring, such as bullying or neglect, then a class change may indeed be the wisest course of action, but it should be considered as a final step, not the first reaction. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam beautifully teaches the virtues of perseverance (sabr) and reliance on Allah Almighty (tawakkul) in times of discomfort. The noble Quran and the blessed Sunnah of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ remind us that hardship is not always a form of harm; sometimes, it is a form of divine training for the heart. 

Facing Difficulty with Patience 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5–6: 

‘ Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).‘ 

This verse does not just promise that relief will come after a struggle; it links the ease directly to the challenge itself. You can help your child to see that staying in a difficult class, if it is safe to do so, can become a means to their own growth and can bring about an unexpected sense of ease, as Allah’s promise never fails. 

The Prophetic Guidance on Enduring Tests 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2999, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The affair of the believer is amazing. All of it is good for him. If something pleasant comes to him, he is grateful, and that is good for him. If something harmful befalls him, he is patient, and that is good for him.’ 

This hadith reminds us that believers have the capacity to transform every situation, whether pleasant or difficult, into a source of goodness through either gratitude or patience. When your child learns to remain in a difficult situation with a sense of calm endurance, they are living this prophetic wisdom in their everyday school life. 

You can encourage your child to whisper a short du’a before they go to school: ‘O Allah, make me strong when things feel hard, and guide me to act with calm and kindness.’ This helps to connect their emotional regulation to their spiritual grounding. They can begin to see that resilience is not about facing things alone, but about walking forward with the help of Allah. By guiding them to pause, process, and persevere rather than trying to escape, you are nurturing an inner steadiness, the kind that no timetable or class change can give.