What do I say when one child hides the best toy before the other arrives? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child hides their best toy before a sibling arrives to play, it often reveals a mixture of insecurity and possessiveness, rather than pure selfishness. They may fear losing control, having their favourite toy broken, or simply missing their sense of ownership. Instead of scolding them, you can treat this as a moment to teach trust, generosity, and the security that comes from sharing. Start with calm curiosity: ‘I noticed you put your favourite toy away before your brother came. Were you worried he might damage it?’ This opens the heart to conversation rather than shame. 

Naming the Fear Behind the Behaviour 

Once they have expressed why they hid the toy, validate their feelings: ‘It makes sense that you want to keep your special things safe.’ Then, you can gently guide their perspective: ‘But when we hide our things, we miss out on the joy of playing together and the chance to build trust with each other.’ This separates their emotion from their action, showing that while their fear is understandable, hiding is not the best solution. 

Creating a ‘Safe Play’ System 

If your child’s fear is based on past experience (for example, the younger sibling often breaks toys), you can create a simple system to protect fairness. 

• Designate a special shelf for one or two toys that are personal and not for sharing. 

• Make it clear that all other toys are for shared play. 

• Rotate roles: one child gets to choose the first game today, and the other chooses tomorrow. 

This helps your child to feel both secure and responsible. They learn that fairness is not something that is forced upon them, but something that is balanced through mutual respect. 

Modelling Abundance Instead of Scarcity 

Children mirror how the adults around them behave with their own resources. When you share something openly, you can narrate your thinking out loud: ‘I love sharing this with you because it makes both of us happy.’ These small moments teach that generosity multiplies joy. Explain that when we trust and give, Allah places barakah (blessing) in what we have. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, fairness and generosity are acts of the heart that draw a believer closer to Allah. When a child hides something precious from their sibling, it can become a beautiful opportunity to teach them that possessions are a trust, not a competition. Every time they choose to share, they are mirroring the character of those whom Allah loves most: the generous and the just. 

Loving for Others What You Love for Yourself 

The Quran reveals that true generosity is not about having an abundance of things, but about freeing the heart from greed. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hashar (59), Verse 9: 

‘…And giving preference over themselves, even though they were impecunious themselves; and whoever is salvaged from (the inherent state of) being miserly for himself, then they are the victorious.’ 

You can tell your child, ‘When you let your sibling play with your favourite toy, you are choosing love over fear. That is what Allah calls success.’ This helps them to see that sharing is not about losing something, but about gaining a victory over their own selfishness. 

It is narrated in Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2158 that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘He who peeps into a house without its inhabitants’ permission, it is lawful for them to put out his eye.’ 

This hadith underscores how serious Islam views violating someone’s private space. It uses strong imagery to teach that privacy is sacred and must not be breached lightly. 

When children understand that true security comes from Allah Almighty, not from hiding or hoarding, they begin to trust that fairness is rewarded and generosity is protected. Remind them gently that love grows when shared and that every time they choose kindness over control, they are polishing their heart in a way that even the finest toy could never match.