What do I do when they bring home a classroom item “by accident”? 

Parenting Perspective 

When your child brings home a classroom item, such as a glue stick, a book, or a toy, and says it was ‘by accident’, it is not always a disingenuous excuse. Children often blur the line between borrowing and keeping, between possession and ownership. Your goal is to turn this moment into a practical lesson in amanah (trustworthiness), guiding them to repair the mistake with honesty and calm dignity. 

Start with Curiosity, Not Accusation 

It is important to stay composed. You can begin by saying, ‘Tell me how this came home with you.’ This encourages an honest explanation rather than a fearful one. Your child might admit that they simply forgot to return it, that they wanted to finish a project at home, or that they just liked the item. By listening first, you can gauge their intention and teach them that telling the truth to you is always safe. Once you understand the reason, you can respond with a measured tone: ‘Thank you for being honest with me. Now, let us make this right.’ 

Turn It Into a Lesson on Trust 

Gently explain that everything in their classroom, from pencils to games, is shared property that is meant to help everyone learn. You can say, ‘When we take something home without asking, we stop other children from being able to use it. That breaks the trust between you, your classmates, and your teacher.’ By linking the act to fairness and responsibility, not to guilt, you keep the focus on integrity. 

Guide the Repair Process 

Allow your child to take responsibility for returning the item personally the next day. You can help them to prepare a few simple, respectful words. 

• ‘I took this home by mistake yesterday. I am sorry, and I wanted to return it.’ 

Unless they are very young, avoid doing it for them. The experience of facing up to a mistake helps to build courage and emotional maturity. Afterwards, you can quietly affirm their action: ‘That was a very brave thing to do. Allah loves honesty like that.’ 

Set Up Gentle Accountability 

Encourage your child to do a quick check of their schoolbag before leaving school each day. You can make it a routine by asking, ‘Have you done a quick honesty scan? Does everything in your bag belong to you?’ Over time, this builds self-awareness and helps to prevent the mistake from happening again. 

Spiritual Insight 

Accidentally taking something that is not yours is still a matter of trust that must be rectified. In Islam, even small, borrowed items carry moral weight. Returning them purifies the heart and strengthens one’s faith. 

Returning What Belongs to Others 

The Quran teaches that returning trusts (amanah) to their rightful owners is not optional; it is a command from Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Nisa (4), Verse 58: 

‘Indeed, Allah (Almighty) commands you to execute all trusts to their rightful owners; and when you (are asked) to) judge between people, that you should judge with justice…’ 

This verse reminds us of the importance of trustworthiness. You can tell your child, ‘When you return something that is not yours, you are obeying Allah. You are proving to Him that He can trust you with even bigger things in the future.’ This elevates a small act of responsibility into an act of worship. 

The Virtue of Restoring a Trust 

The teachings of our Prophet ﷺ highlight that we must uphold honesty regardless of the actions of others. 

It is recorded in Sunan Nisai, Hadith 3935, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Render back the trust to the one who entrusted you, and do not betray the one who betrays you.’ 

This hadith teaches that we must do what is right for the sake of Allah, not for the sake of others. Encourage your child to whisper a small dua after they have returned the item: ‘O Allah, please make me among those who return every trust and never betray what You have entrusted me with.’ 

When handled with empathy, this small moment becomes a seed of character that can grow for a lifetime.