What do I do when excitement turns to pushing at the playground queue? 

Parenting Perspective 

It is a sight familiar to many parents: your child is waiting in line for the swing or the slide, full of excitement, and suddenly that excitement bursts forth into pushing. Another child may cry or complain, and you are left torn between feelings of embarrassment and worry. The truth is, pushing in queues rarely comes from a place of aggression; it is usually a case of overflowing energy and impatience that spills out faster than their self-control can catch up. The goal is not to shame your child for being overexcited, but to teach them how to hold their joy gently while still respecting the space of others. 

Understand the Emotion Beneath the Push 

Children do not usually push because they want to hurt someone; they push because their bodies want to move. Their body is ready for the activity before their turn has arrived. This mismatch between their excitement and the necessity of waiting can be hard for a young nervous system to manage. You can start by acknowledging the feeling: ‘It is so hard to wait when you are excited, is it not?’ This simple act of empathy helps to calm their brain, making them feel understood instead of scolded. Once they are calm, they are in a much better position to listen and to learn. 

Teach the ‘Safe Body’ Rule 

Children respond well to simple, physical language. Instead of just saying, ‘Do not push,’ it is more effective to use positive phrasing: ‘Let us keep our body safe and still while we wait.’ You can demonstrate what a ‘safe body’ looks like, with feet planted on the ground, hands by their sides, and taking small steps forward only when it is their turn. You can even practise this in a playful way at home: ‘Let us pretend we are waiting for the slide. Can you show me what your safe body looks like?’ This helps to turn the concept of self-control into a concrete skill, not just an abstract demand. 

Rehearse the Queue Before You Join It 

Just before your child enters the playground, you can give them a one-minute ‘pre-brief’ to prepare them for what is to come: ‘There will be a queue for the slide. We need to wait behind the person in front, use our quiet voices, and keep a safe space between us. When it is our turn, we go once, and then we come back to the end of the line if we want another turn.’ You can then invite their participation by asking, ‘What is one thing that helps you to remember to wait kindly?’ Involving them in this way makes the rules feel fair, not just imposed. 

Responding Calmly When Pushing Happens 

If they do happen to push someone despite your reminders, it is important to intervene in a calm and close way. Avoid scolding them from a distance. Instead, walk over, kneel down to their level, and reset the boundary: ‘That push was not safe. Let us take a breath together and practise our safe waiting again.’ You can guide them back a few steps, model some deep breathing if they need it, and then praise their ability to return to a state of calm: ‘You came back to wait safely. That shows real self-control.’ This teaches them about recovery from a mistake, not shame because of it. 

Spiritual Insight 

The playground queue may seem far removed from the realm of the spiritual, yet it is a living classroom for the teaching of adab, the Islamic art of respect and self-restraint. In Islam, waiting calmly, respecting order, and showing gentleness toward others are all signs of a refined character. Teaching these traits in our everyday moments helps to build habits of the heart that are pleasing to Allah Almighty. 

Respecting Order and the Rights of Others 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.‘ 

This reminds us that the harmony of a community depends on our sense of fairness and our consideration for others. When you teach your child not to push or to cut into a queue, you are teaching them the foundational values of justice and mercy, the same values that hold our families and our societies together. 

Strength in the Practice of Mercy 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1924, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The merciful are shown mercy by The Most Merciful. Be merciful to those on the earth, and the One above the heavens will have mercy upon you.’ 

When a child learns not to push or to crowd others in a line, they are learning the art of mercy by respecting the space and the feelings of others. This beautiful hadith reinforces the idea that our gentleness towards other people brings with it the mercy of Allah, turning a simple playground lesson into a profound act of compassion. When you guide your child to wait for their turn with patience, you are nurturing more than just their manners; you are shaping their akhlaq (character).