What can my child write if they posted something that hurt someone? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child posts something online that hurts another person, whether it is a careless joke, a sarcastic comment, or a thoughtless meme, the harm can feel significantly greater than an in-person mistake. Online words are visible, lasting, and can spread far beyond the intended audience. The goal is to coach your child on how to write a clear, humble, and sincere apology that both acknowledges the hurt and commits them to better choices. This teaches them that mistakes do not have to define them, but the way they repair those mistakes does. 

Explain Why Public Harm Needs a Public Repair 

Start by explaining why the nature of the apology needs to match the nature of the mistake. You can say: ‘If your words caused harm in a public space online, the apology should also be made in that space, so the same people who saw the mistake can also see your regret.’ This helps them to understand that a quiet, private apology may not be enough to undo a visible injury. 

Teach the Three-Part Formula for a Sincere Apology 

Help your child draft an apology that follows a simple, respectful, and effective structure. 

• Acknowledge the Harm: Name what went wrong without making excuses. For example, ‘The comment I posted was unkind and it hurt people.’ 

• Take Full Responsibility: Show complete ownership of the mistake instead of shifting blame. For example, ‘It was wrong of me to write that. It was my mistake.’ 

• State the Repair: Outline a clear plan to do better in the future. For example, ‘I have deleted the post and I will be more thoughtful from now on.’ 

This structure helps them to avoid the common pitfalls of blame-shifting or minimising the hurt they have caused. 

Teach That a Sincere Apology Is Backed by Action 

A written apology is only meaningful if it is supported by a change in behaviour. Encourage your child to take practical steps to undo the harm. 

• Delete the original harmful content. 

• Stop the spread of any related gossip or rumours. 

• Make an effort to share something positive to help rebuild a kind tone. 

This demonstrates a sense of responsibility that goes beyond words. 

Reinforce the Courage It Takes to Apologise 

Apologising publicly can feel very risky for a child, as they may worry about looking weak or attracting more negative attention. Remind them: ‘Owning your mistake and making it right shows great strength and courage, not weakness. It protects your own dignity as well as the other person’s.’ When you praise their courage, you help them to associate accountability with maturity. 

Spiritual Insight 

Making Amends When a Wrong Has Been Done 

Islam teaches that when we make a mistake, our response should be sincere repentance and an active effort to repair any harm we have caused. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Furqaan (25), Verses 70: 

‘Except for the one who sought repentance, and believed (in the truth), and enacted virtuous deeds; so, for those people, Allah (Almighty) shall substitute (and extinguish) their evil deeds with good deeds; and Allah (Almighty) is All Forgiving and All Merciful.’ 

This beautiful verse can reassure a child that a mistake, even a public one, is not the end of the story. If they repent with sincerity and follow it up with a positive change in their behaviour, Allah can transform that mistake into a source of goodness for them. 

The Prophet’s ﷺExample of Acknowledging Mistakes 

The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that humility in admitting our faults is a defining characteristic of a believer. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, 4251, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Every son of Adam sins, and the best of those who sin are those who repent.’ 

You can explain this hadith to your child by saying: ‘Everyone makes mistakes, but the very best people are those who say they are sorry and truly mean it. When you apologise properly for your post, you are walking on the path that Allah loves.’ 

By rooting the act of apologising in the Quran and Sunnah, children learn that repairing the harm they have caused online is a fundamental part of their faith.