Parenting Perspective 

Following a tantrum, children might experience feelings of confusion, being overwhelmed, or even a sense of shame. After they have settled down, it is a good opportunity to carefully go over what occurred. Use a calm and neutral tone that avoids assigning fault. You could express, ‘You seemed quite upset earlier. Can you recall the events that took place?’ or ‘What sensations did you experience in your body when you felt angry?’ These open‑ended questions assist children in recognising and identifying their feelings. 

Encourage them thoughtfully to consider improved approaches: ‘In the future, when you experience that feeling, what alternatives might you explore?’ Use clear and uniform language. Try to keep the conversation engaging and not overly formal. The goal is not to impose penalties but to assist the child in gaining insights from the situation, fostering resilience and self-awareness as they grow. 

Building Reflection Skills 

• Ask open‑ended questions 

• Use a calm and supportive tone 

• Avoid assigning blame 

• Focus on future strategies 

Reflection is a skill that requires time to cultivate, but your steady practice will aid its growth. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages reflection and self-awareness as part of personal development from an early age. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Shams (91), Verses 7–10: 

And by the soul and how it is designed (for infusion into the body). Thus, We have designed (the soul with discretion) for wickedness and piety. Without any doubt, success is for the one who developed purity (of the self), and indeed, failure is for the one who embraces (the darkness of ignorance and immorality). 

Encouraging children to reflect after a tantrum is part of this process of purification and inner guidance. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1952, that holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ stated: 

There is no gift that a father gives his son more virtuous than good manners. 

This Hadith emphasises that parents are responsible for shaping their children’s character. Assisting a child in their reflection is essential to honouring that trust with compassion. By encouraging this habit from a young age, you are helping your child develop a sense of right and wrong and a caring nature, rather than just following rules.