What can I do when tears start over one tricky maths question? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child bursts into tears over a single maths question, the emotional reaction can feel completely disproportionate to the task at hand. However, to your child, that one problem might feel like an insurmountable mountain, triggering intense feelings of frustration, a fear of failure, or deep embarrassment. Your response in that critical moment can either help them to develop resilience or teach them to avoid challenges in the future. 

Pause and Address the Emotion First 

When the tears begin, resist the urge to jump straight into correcting the maths. The first and most important step is to address the emotion. This shows your child that their feelings are seen and validated, which must come before any attempt to solve the problem. 

• ‘I can see this feels really hard and frustrating for you right now.’ 

• Offer a brief moment of connection, such as a comforting hand on their shoulder or a sip of water. 

Break the Problem Into Smaller Steps 

A difficult maths problem can feel overwhelming when a child tries to tackle it all at once. Guide them to break it down into smaller, more manageable parts. Completing each small step helps to lower their sense of anxiety. 

• ‘Let us just read the first line of the question together and nothing else.’ 

• ‘What is the one number or piece of information we definitely know here?’ 

Encourage Effort, Not Just Correct Answers 

It is vital to shift your praise away from getting the correct answer quickly and towards the quality of their persistence. This reduces the pressure to be perfect and builds their confidence to tackle difficult tasks. 

• ‘I am so proud of you for sticking with that and trying again.’ 

• ‘Making mistakes is a sign that your brain is working hard and learning new things.’ 

Know When to Take a Break 

There are times when pressing on will only lead to more tears and frustration. In these situations, it is perfectly acceptable to pause and return to the problem later. 

• You can say, ‘It looks like our brains need a short rest to solve this problem well. Let us take a five-minute break and then come back to it with fresh eyes.’ 

• Child: (crying) ‘I just cannot do it!’ Parent: ‘I can see how upset you are. Let us take this one small step together, and then you can try the next one.’ 

Spiritual Insight 

A child’s struggle with their learning is not a sign of failure; it is an opportunity to teach them about patience, resilience, and the importance of trusting in Allah. Just as our children wrestle with a difficult maths problem, we too face tests in life that require our own steady effort and perseverance. 

Patience Through Struggle 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 6: 

‘Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).‘ 

This powerful verse is a timeless reminder that every difficulty contains the seed of ease and relief, but it must be met with patience. 

Encouraging Gently in Learning 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 69, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Make things easy and do not make them difficult and give glad tidings and do not make people run away.’ 

This hadith teaches that in all our affairs, including teaching and correction, a gentle and encouraging approach is essential. A child who is crying over their homework needs encouragement and glad tidings, not more pressure. 

By calming their tears before you break the task into manageable steps, you show your child that learning is not about avoiding struggles, but about growing through them. This approach nurtures both their resilience and their faith, lessons that will serve them far beyond any single maths question.