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What can I do when my child starts preferring one parent over the other?

Parenting Perspective

Preference is not about rejection, but rather about stage, comfort, or routine. Do not be upset about it. Instead, be emotionally accessible. Steer clear of pushing justice on the youngster or condemning them. Provide a low-pressure relationship by spending time together, playing a game together, or asking kind questions. Your quiet consistency will eventually be more noticeable than your preference. Instead of fostering more division, parents should help one another by affectionately reaffirming the absent parent in front of the child.

Spiritual Insight

Divine wisdom includes balancing the roles of parents. The emotional demands of each parent may vary. Each companion received commendation from the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ based on their individual strengths. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Israa (17), Verse 23: ‘And spread over them (your) auspices with humility and mercy…’ This includes humility in co-parenting. It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 144, records that ‘Husain was there playing in the street. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ came in front of the people and stretched out his hands, and the child started to run here and there. Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ made him laugh until he caught him, then he put one hand under his chin and the other on his head and kissed him.’ With time and Rahmah, the bond restores balance. 

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