What can I do when my child refuses to try something hard unless a screen is involved? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child begins to connect effort exclusively with the promise of screen time, they may start to view challenges merely as transactional steps to earn entertainment, rather than as opportunities to grow. The goal is to gently shift their focus so they begin to value the process itself, not just the digital reward at the end. 

Shift the Reward System 

Begin by replacing screen-based incentives with a variety of non-digital rewards. This could be extra time spent on a favourite outdoor activity, a special one-on-one story time with you, or the chance to choose the family’s next board game. This broadens their understanding of motivation beyond screens. 

Celebrate the Effort, Not Just the Outcome 

Make a point of praising their specific actions and the effort they put in. Saying, ‘I saw how you kept trying that part even when it was tricky,’ is more powerful than only saying, ‘Well done for finishing.’ This builds a strong connection between persistence and their sense of self-worth. 

Make it a Shared Challenge 

If possible, join them in the task so they experience the challenge as a team. Whether it is a difficult puzzle, a building project, or a new recipe, your presence and shared effort can reduce their frustration and lessen the need for an external reward to keep them going. 

By gradually replacing screen-based incentives with intrinsic and relationship-based motivators, you help your child to find value in the work itself and develop a genuine confidence in their ability to tackle difficulties. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam encourages us to strive in our efforts with sincerity and patience, focusing not just on the final result but also on the personal and spiritual growth that comes through the process. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Najam (53), Verses 39–40: 

‘And they shall be nothing (to account) for mankind except what he has undertaken. And indeed, whatever he has undertaken, you shall very soon observe it.‘ 

This reminds us that the effort itself is valuable and is seen and recorded by Allah Almighty, independent of the worldly outcome. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved of deeds to Allah are the most consistent of them, even if they are few.’ 

This teaches us that steady, consistent effort is what truly builds value and is beloved to God, not the size or glamour of the reward. 

By guiding your child to appreciate the value of effort without relying on screens as the primary motivator, you help to nurture their resilience, self-respect, and a spiritual understanding that hard work is an act that is valued in and of itself.