What can I do when my child gets loud or restless in public and I do not want to default to a screen? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child becomes loud or restless in a public space, the temptation to hand over a screen for instant quiet can feel overwhelming. However, with a little preparation and creativity, you can navigate these moments in a way that protects their development and deepens your connection. The key is to have a ‘toolkit’ of strategies ready so that a screen does not have to be your only solution. 

Prepare Your Child Before You Go 

Before you even leave the house, have a brief, positive chat with your child about where you are going and what the environment will be like. You can set clear expectations by focusing on what they can do, such as using their ‘library voice’ or staying close, rather than presenting a long list of prohibitions. This helps them feel prepared and capable, not controlled. 

Carry a Toolkit of Quiet Activities 

Always have a small bag with a few engaging, quiet activities that you can produce during moments of waiting, such as in a queue or at a restaurant. Simple items like a small notepad and crayons, a favourite picture book, or a quiet puzzle can capture their attention and provide a calm point of focus without causing overstimulation or mess. 

Give Them a Sense of Purpose 

Children often become restless when they feel bored or disconnected from the task at hand. You can counter this by giving them a small, helpful role to play. This could be holding the shopping list, helping to choose the fruit and vegetables, or counting the items in the basket. Involving them in the process turns them from bored observers into active, helpful participants. 

Connect Through Conversation and Storytelling 

One of the most powerful tools you have is your own presence. Engage your child’s mind by asking them interesting questions about their surroundings or by telling them a short, imaginative story. This not only distracts them from their restlessness but also builds your connection and keeps their mind active in a positive and creative way. 

By offering these interactive alternatives, you send the clear message that there are many ways to navigate public spaces without immediately turning to a screen. 

Spiritual Insight 

Public settings are valuable opportunities to practise patience and good manners (adab), both for parents and for children. Guiding a child through their restlessness with a calm heart is a profound act of nurturing their character. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Luqman (31), Verse 19: 

‘And be modest in your attitude and lower your voice (in dealing with people); as indeed, the harshest of all sounds, is the noise of the donkeys…’ 

In this beautiful piece of advice from Luqman to his son, we are reminded that gentle speech and a calm demeanour are virtuous qualities that we should actively encourage in our children from a young age. 

It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6114, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The strong person is not the one who overcomes people by his strength, but the strong person is the one who controls himself while in anger.’ 

This hadith teaches us that true strength lies in self-restraint. By helping our children learn to manage their impulses in public, we are equipping them with a form of strength that will benefit them in all areas of their life. Your patient guidance in these moments is a practical lesson in choosing dignity and self-control over distraction.