What can a child say when they feel rushed by an adult but need more time? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often find themselves under pressure from adults, whether at school, at home, or at social gatherings, to finish a task quickly, to respond immediately, or to make a fast decision. Feeling rushed can make them feel anxious, flustered, or defensive. Teaching your child how to express their need for more time in a respectful way helps them to stay calm under pressure while still maintaining a sense of courtesy. The goal is to replace any feelings of panic or a descent into silence with a polite clarity and a confidence that is anchored in respect. 

Beginning with Reassurance and Perspective 

You can start by explaining, ‘It is okay to need more time to do something. Adults can sometimes get busy or impatient, but you still deserve to have a moment to think or to finish what you are doing.’ This lets your child know that asking for more time is not an act of disobedience, but a sign of emotional intelligence. 

Teaching Calm and Courteous Phrases 

Equip your child with short and steady sentences that sound both polite and firm. 

• ‘I just need a moment to finish this, please.’ 

• ‘I will be ready in just a minute. Thank you for waiting.’ 

• A particularly good phrase is: ‘I am trying to do it properly; could I please have another moment?’ 

These phrases all show a sense of cooperation, not defiance. They tell the adult that your child respects their request, but that they are also trying to manage their own pace in a thoughtful way. 

Practising Through Everyday Moments 

Role-playing can help your child to develop the right reflexes for real-life situations, replacing a sense of panic with a calm clarity. For example: 

Parent (as teacher): ‘Hurry up and hand in your work now!’ 

Child: ‘I am almost finished. May I please have a few more seconds to check it?’ 

Parent: ‘That was a perfect response. You used a polite tone and confident words.’ 

Explaining the Difference Between a Delay and a Respectful Pause 

You can explain to your child, ‘You are not saying “no” to the request; you are just saying, “I want to do this well.” That is a sign of maturity, not laziness.’ This helps your child to distinguish between procrastination and a need for thoughtful preparation. 

Encouraging an Awareness of Tone and Body Language 

You can advise your child, ‘If you stay calm, look up, and speak softly, people will be much more likely to listen. A polite voice can make even the phrase “I need more time” sound respectful.’ 

Modelling the Behaviour Yourself 

Let your child see how you handle being rushed in your own life. For example, ‘I will get that done for you right away, but I would just like to check it over carefully first.’ Children will learn from your example that even adults can slow the pace of a situation with politeness. 

Praising Their Composure 

When your child handles a situation like this well, praise them for it. For instance, ‘You stayed so respectful and calm just then. That is a sign of real confidence.’ Praise helps to shift their focus from simple compliance to the art of self-regulation, which is a lasting life skill. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches a sense of balance in all things, which includes the balance between speed and care, and between effort and patience. The act of speaking calmly when one is being rushed is a reflection of sabr (patience) and tawakkul (a trust in Allah’s timing). Teaching your child this balance helps to nurture a character that values thoughtfulness over haste, and grace over panic. 

The Quranic Wisdom of Patience and Composure 

The Quran reminds us that patience is a fundamental ingredient for success, both in this life and the next. It is a quality that is deeply beloved by Allah. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Asr (103), Verses 2-3: 

‘Indeed, mankind shall surely (remain in a state of) deprivation (moral deficit), except for those people who are believers and undertake virtuous acts; and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and dissemination of) the truth and encouraging (cultivating within themselves and with one another the realisation and accomplishment of) resilience. ‘ 

When your child takes a moment to breathe and to respond respectfully, they are putting this wisdom into practice by turning a moment of stress into one of steady grace. 

The Prophetic Example of Calm Restraint 

The teachings of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ show us the grace of gentleness in all of our actions and our speech. This quality has the power to beautify every moment, even those that are filled with pressure. 

It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1674, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Patience is a quality of the believers.‘ 

When your child calmly asks for more time instead of reacting with frustration, they are embodying this beautiful virtue. 

When your child learns to say, “I just need a moment to finish, please,” they are learning that patience can be a powerful tool. They are discovering that showing respect does not mean they have to rush, and that having confidence does not mean they have to be defiant. 

Each calm request becomes a small act of emotional maturity, a moment where their grace meets their self-respect. Over time, they will come to realise that speaking gently when they are under pressure can earn them more trust than reacting quickly out of frustration ever could. 

In every steady and thoughtful reply, your child comes to reflect the beauty of the prophetic balance: a patience that strengthens, words that soothe, and a faith that can turn every hurried moment into an opportunity for peace and poise, all for the sake of Allah Almighty.