What calming techniques can parents model, like deep breathing or duʿa, to steady the moment? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a child is shaken after being exposed to harmful or frightening content online, they will instinctively look to their parents for cues on how to react. If a parent shows panic, the child’s anxiety will only escalate. However, if the parent is able to model a sense of calmness, it reassures the child that the situation is manageable. Teaching practical calming techniques in these moments not only helps to steady the child, but also equips them with valuable coping skills for life. 

Practise Deep Breathing Together 

Gently guide your child through a slow breathing exercise: ‘Let us breathe together. We will breathe in slowly through our noses, hold it for a few seconds, and then breathe out slowly through our mouths.’ Practising this with them makes them feel supported rather than instructed, and physically slows down the body’s panic response. 

Provide Grounding Through a Calm Presence 

Offer a reassuring hand on your child’s shoulder, or hold their hand gently while you speak. Your calm and steady physical presence communicates security more powerfully than words alone and can help a frightened child to feel grounded in the present moment. 

Use Short Pauses and Stillness 

Instead of rushing to fill the silence with questions or solutions, model the use of calm pauses. By speaking in a slower, more measured tone and allowing for moments of stillness, you can naturally help your child’s own nervous system to regulate and return to a state of calm. 

Turn to Duʿa Together 

Show your child that moments of fear are best anchored in the remembrance of Allah. You can model this by saying simple words like, ‘Bismillah. Ya Allah, please protect us and bring us peace.’ Making duʿa together provides both immediate emotional comfort and long-term spiritual grounding. 

By actively demonstrating these simple techniques, parents can show their children that a sense of calmness is something that can be consciously created, not just hoped for. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches us that the heart finds its truest and deepest peace by turning to Allah Almighty in moments of distress. By teaching children to consciously link the act of calming down with making duʿa (supplication), parents can help to strengthen both their emotional resilience and their faith. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ra’ad (13), Verses 28: 

‘…Indeed, it is only with the remembrance of Allah (Almighty) that one can (and does) find peace of mind and heart.’ 

This beautiful verse reminds us that the most powerful tool for calming a frightened or anxious heart is to turn it back towards the remembrance (dhikr) of Allah. 

It is recorded in Riyadh Al Saliheen, Hadith 1495, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The duʿa of the Muslim for his brother in his absence will certainly be answered. At his head there is an appointed angel; whenever he makes a supplication for good for his brother, the angel appointed to him says: “Ameen, and for you the same.”’ 

This teaching shows the immense power and blessing of making duʿa for others. When a parent makes a sincere supplication for their distressed child, they are not only bringing comfort but are also inviting the blessings and support of the angels. 

By modelling deep breathing, a gentle presence, and sincere duʿa, parents can teach their child that calmness is both a practical skill and a spiritual practice. This helps them to learn, over time, how to regulate their own emotions through a combination of inner strength and a deep reliance on Allah Almighty.