What are subtle behaviors that show my child feels less safe opening up when devices are around? 

Parenting Perspective 

Children often communicate their feelings of emotional insecurity through quiet changes in behavior rather than direct complaints. These subtle shifts are important cues that they feel less safe or valued in conversations when competing with a device. 

Shorter or Filtered Sharing 

You may notice that a child who once shared long, detailed stories now gives only short, vague answers. They might even stop mentioning important parts of their day altogether. This can be a sign that they have learned from past experience that your attention is likely to drift away before they can finish. 

Testing for Attention Before Speaking 

Watch to see if they test the waters before sharing something important. They might pause and glance at your device, or start with a trivial detail to gauge your level of attention before deciding whether it is safe to reveal something more personal. 

Physical Withdrawal 

Their body language can also be a clear indicator. They might physically create distance by sitting further away from you when a device is in your hand, or they might lower their voice and avoid eye contact. These are quiet but powerful signs that they do not feel emotionally secure in that moment. 

Replacing You with Other Outlets 

If you notice your child is consistently turning to friends or siblings for emotional support instead of you, it may be because they have come to see your availability as inconsistent. When they cannot rely on your presence, they will naturally seek it elsewhere. 

By paying close attention to these cues, you can intervene early. Creating intentional, device-free windows of time reassures your child that they have a safe and guaranteed space to open up without having to compete for your attention. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic teachings place immense value on listening with full presence, seeing it as an act of mercy and respect. It is our duty as parents to create an environment where our children feel emotionally safe enough to speak freely. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Qaaf (50), Verse 37: 

‘Indeed, in this there is a realisation for those who have a heart, and those who pay attention, whilst they are (attentively) observant…‘ 

This verse teaches us that for any reminder to be of benefit, the listener must be fully present with their heart and mind. This is a divine model for our own interactions; true listening requires our complete engagement. 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 1956, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘When he spoke to a person, he would turn his whole body towards them.’ 

The beautiful example of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ turning his entire body to face the person he was speaking with teaches us a profound lesson. True attentiveness is not just about hearing words; it is about offering our full physical and emotional focus as a sign of respect. 

By consciously putting devices away, making eye contact, and offering your undivided presence, you show your child that their words have weight and are worthy of being heard. This consistency is what builds the deep trust and emotional security they need to share their hearts with you openly and without hesitation.