What are age-appropriate ways to explain the concept of haya when children want to post selfies or videos? 

Parenting Perspective 

Explaining haya (modesty, self-respect) in the context of selfies and videos requires a gentle, empowering approach. The goal is to help children see it as a source of strength and dignity, not just a list of rules. 

Start with the Heart of the Concept 

For younger children, use simple terms like, ‘Haya means keeping some parts of ourselves private because they are special.’ This helps them to understand the concept as being about valuing oneself, not just about covering up. 

Relate to Everyday Situations 

Use a comparison they can easily understand. You might explain that just as we have a private space in our home, we also have a private self that is not for everyone to see. This makes the idea of online privacy feel more tangible and logical. 

Use Positive Framing, Not Shame 

Keep the focus on the positive. You can say, ‘We choose what we share so that people can get to know us for our kind character, not just for our appearance.’ This frames haya as an empowering choice, not a restriction based on shame. 

Give Them Decision Tools 

Give them a simple set of questions to use as a personal guide before they post anything. This helps to build their own internal filter and encourages them to think before they act, which is a crucial skill for all ages. 

When approached in this way, haya becomes a tool for building confidence and self-respect online. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that modesty (haya) is a comprehensive virtue that protects our honour, purifies our hearts, and is a defining characteristic of a believer. 

The Purity of Boundaries 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Ahzab (33), Verse 53: 

‘And when you ask [his wives] for something, ask them from behind a partition. That is purer for your hearts and their hearts…’ 

This reminds us that maintaining respectful boundaries is a form of modesty that protects the dignity and purity of everyone involved. These principles extend to how we present ourselves in the digital world. 

The Character of Faith 

It is recorded in Sunan Ibn Majah, Hadith 4181, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Indeed, every religion has a distinct characteristic, and the distinct characteristic of Islam is modesty (Haya’).’ 

Teaching this to children helps them understand that haya is not a limitation; it is a defining and beautiful quality of their faith that can guide how they share images and videos with dignity.