We try to make up privately, but our child walks around the house as if they are waiting for something bad to happen. How do we restore emotional calm? 

Parenting Perspective 

If your child continues to move through the house with hesitation long after an argument has passed, it is a clear sign that their sense of emotional safety has not yet been restored. Children are incredibly adept at sensing emotional undercurrents, such as the tension behind a forced smile or the silence between sentences. When they do not witness a clear and genuine resolution, they remain in a state of high alert. This is not a dramatic overreaction; it is their nervous system instinctively scanning the environment for signs of danger, asking, “Is it truly safe now? Has the storm really passed?” 

What Children Need After Conflict 

• Visible repair, which is more than a quiet truce. It involves observable affection, kindness, and gentle reconnection. 

• Emotional reassurance, using simple, affirming words like, “We had a difficult moment, but we are okay now, and you are safe.” 

• Involvement without burden, which means including them in a moment of calm, such as sharing a snack or a game, without discussing the conflict itself. 

You can gently break this emotional fog with shared rituals that ground your child in the present moment, for instance, a breakfast with warm eye contact, a walk filled with light conversation, or making Dua together at bedtime. These simple acts are the bridges that guide a child back to a state of calm. There is no need to stage a performance, but you must make the repair visible. Your child is not waiting for you to be perfect; they are simply waiting for the moment they can finally exhale. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam values not only outward peace but also a deep, inward sense of reassurance. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ consistently modelled emotional clarity paired with visible compassion. Even during moments of great stress, he would offer a smile, use kind words, and create calm through small, deliberate acts of mercy, showing particular care for the emotional state of children. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5–6: 

‘Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). ‘

This divine repetition is not accidental. It serves as a powerful reminder that emotional relief is promised to follow hardship, and this relief should be made manifest, not hidden away in secrecy. 

It is recorded in Sahih al-Bukhari, Hadith 6125, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Make things easy and do not make things difficult, give glad tidings and do not scare them away. ‘

When your child sees ease returning to the home, when they witness the re-joining of hands or a light exchange of warmth between you, they can finally stop waiting for harm. They can begin to believe again that love knows how to return after a storm, and that their home is, once again, a safe place to breathe.