We only talk about logistics, groceries, school, bills, never anything personal. Our child is growing up watching a purely functional marriage. What effect does that have? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of a Functional Marriage 

When a child solely observes task-based contact between their parents, they grow to see relationships as transactional rather than emotional. It quietly tells children that marriage is about surviving together rather than connecting together. Children do not need to see dramatic actions of affection to feel safe; but, they do need to see some warmth, humour, curiosity, or softness communicated between their parents. When all communication becomes logistical, groceries, calendars, bills, the child may believe that adult relationships primarily about management and duty. This can have an impact on their future expectations: they may struggle to articulate emotional needs, underestimate the value of emotional intimacy, or believe that love requires no obvious affection at all. 

A Strategy to Reintroduce Warmth 

This type of emotional climate is generally caused by weariness, worry, or lengthy isolation, rather than a lack of love. The approach is not to force artificial intimacy, but to reintroduce little doses of genuine emotional interaction : an inquiry about each other’s day, a shared chuckle over something inconsequential, or a soft check-in before bedtime. Even minor clues, such as tone of voice, eye contact, and light teasing, can help restore emotional texture to the environment your child is exposed to on a daily basis. Because the truth is, your marriage is more than just your marriage; it is also the model that your child will instinctively follow. And that template deserves to include warmth, not just efficiency. 

Spiritual Insight 

Marriage in Islam is not limited to its functional purpose. The prophetic marriage model emphasised warmth, humour, peaceful interaction, and open emotional connection. It was never robotic. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ not only provided for his family, but also engaged with them by joking, spending time with them, and emotionally investing in them. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Rome (30), Verse 21: 

‘And amongst His Signs (of the infinite truth) are that He (Allah Almighty) created for you, your (matrimonial) partners from your species so that you may find tranquillity from them; and designed between you loving tolerance and kindness…’ 

This verse reminds us that a loving marriage is a live example of divine mercy. That affection should not be kept wholly behind closed doors, especially when children are silently discovering what love looks like. It is also recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 2578, narrated by Aisha, Ummul Mu’minin: 

‘While she was on a journey along with the the holy Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ): I had a race with him (the Prophet) and I outstripped him on my feet. When I became fleshy, (again) I had a race with him (the Prophet) and he outstripped me. The holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: This is for that outstripping. ‘

This simple moment of playfulness between husband and wife, even in a desert journey, teaches us that light-hearted affection was never un-Islamic. It was prophetic. So when your child sees only logistics, they are not just watching how you run a household, they are learning what kind of love to expect in adulthood. Bring back just a little warmth, and you reshape not only the mood of your marriage but the emotional legacy you leave behind.