We do not argue openly, but our child sees the tension between us. Could this still harm their emotional security? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Impact of Unspoken Tension 

To protect their child, many parents avoid open confrontation; nonetheless, tension can be perceived without the use of words. Children are incredibly aware of body language, facial expressions, and emotional undercurrents. If there is prolonged silence, passive anger, or emotional distance between you and your partner, your child will notice – and may internalise it in harmful ways. They may start to feel anxious, unsure of their surroundings, or even blame themselves. The absence of shouting does not ensure emotional security. 

Restoring Emotional Safety 

It is founded on the presence of warmth, stability, and emotional accessibility. This does not imply that you must fake or perform. It means you must set aside time to reconnect – not just with each other, but also with your child. Set aside small daily rituals, such as shared mealtimes, collaborative bedtime procedures, or simply both parents offering the child one complement each for the day. These modest gestures restore emotional safety, even when the adult relationship is being discreetly restored. Privately, focus on the source of the stress. Unspoken concerns do not disappear; rather, they grow. Consider scheduling a weekly check-in where you and your partner may communicate honestly without fear of confrontation. If the tension extends beyond a communication gap, seek spiritual or relational counselling in a way that preserves the dignity of your parenting partnership. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam does not associate silence with peace. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Noor (24), Verse 26: 

“And for good women there are good men, and for good men there are good women. “

This verse symbolises the desired peace between spouses, both in public and in private. A child raised in a family where love is obvious, and tension is addressed develops more distinct models of emotional equilibrium. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1162, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

“The best of you are those who are best to their families (women), and I am the best among you to my family (women).” 

This Hadith encourages parents to be emotionally present, not just physically. Children who witness their parents’ respect, repair, and affection, even after conflict, are more likely to develop emotional intelligence and resilience. Silence will not protect them. Soft, intentional oneness works.