We argue respectfully, but we never resolve things in front of our kids. Is it important that they witness resolution, not just restraint? 

Parenting Perspective 

Certainly, being present for a resolution is just as important as witnessing a respectful disagreement. Although arguing with restraint is a positive example, children who only observe tension and never witness the return to harmony are left to fill in the gaps, and they commonly presume the worst. Without witnessing closure, children may passively accept the notion that relationships remain stuck or frigid after disagreement. This causes inner uneasiness, particularly in sensitive children who want reassurance that everything is fine but do not know how to ask. 

You do not need to undertake lengthy reconciliation sessions in front of your child, but modest visible signs of peace are important. A smile, a pleasant gesture, or a brief moment in which one parent says, “We talked, we understand each other now” can assist your child end the emotional loop. Even a small remark like “We disagreed, but we love each other and worked it out” provides emotional closure. When children observe that healthy conflict leads to connection rather than quiet or discomfort, they acquire one of the most crucial emotional skills: how to recover after a breach. That is what promotes both relational security and resilience. 

Spiritual Insight 

The noble character of the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was not only avoiding harm, but also actively restoring peace. He avoided letting tension or unresolved emotions build up. He was a friendly, humble, and gentle speaker who sought understanding and closure with companions and family alike. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 10: 

‘Indeed, the believers are brothers (to each other); so, make peace with your brothers; and seek piety from Allah (Almighty) so that you may receive His Mercy.’ 

This verse emphasises that reconciliation is not a private matter; it is a spiritual duty that children learn through observation rather than being told. It is recorded in Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4919, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘Shall I not inform you of something more excellent in degree than fasting, prayer and almsgiving (sadaqah)? The people replied: Yes, Prophet of Allah! He said: It is putting things right between people, spoiling them is the shaver (destructive) ‘

Reconciliation is not a weakness. It is a prophetic strength. When our children see resolution, even in brief, compassionate ways, they get the strength to fix rather than escape. And that is one of the most valuable gifts we can pass on.