We are working on building better rituals, eating together, walking, talking, but it still feels forced. Is it okay to start small and let the child grow into the change? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Awkwardness of New Rituals 

Yes, starting small is not only good, it is frequently the best way for a family to get back into a healthy emotional rhythm. When togetherness has been stretched or ignored, even well-intentioned efforts may appear fake at first. Children are sensitive to energy and may resist or withdraw when confronted with anything unusual. However, this does not imply that it is not working. Consistency over time converts effort to habit, and habit generates connection. So, even if the family walk is quiet or the dinner table feels awkward, the fact that it is happening is important. You are gently teaching your child that relationships are worth showing up for, even if they are difficult. 

A Strategy of Consistency 

Instead of immediately attempting to “make it feel natural,” allow the distress to coexist with the practice. Create routines that demand little emotional investment at start, such as a shared dessert after dinner, a brief Dua before bed, or a weekly family work. Let these moments be expected but light. The idea is not to push quick intimacy, but to create secure environments in which it might develop. Over time, your child will identify these routines with stability, even warmth, because you continued to participate, not because everything was always perfect. 

Spiritual Insight 

In Islam, kindness is frequently born of constant effort, even if that work appears small or insignificant at first. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Inshirah (94), Verses 5–6: 

‘Thus with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty). Indeed, with (every) hardship there is facilitation (from Allah Almighty).’ 

This recurrence tells us that long-term efforts, no matter how awkward or tough, are always rewarded – frequently in unexpected ways. It is recorded in Sahih Bukhari, Hadith 6464, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The most beloved deed to Allah is the most regular and constant even if it were little. ‘

So, when your child sees you make space for presence, even if it feels stiff or strange, they learn that love is more than a sensation; it is a discipline. And from that discipline, genuine warmth will eventually grow. You are not faking a connection. You are cultivating the soil for it to grow.