Sometimes our child hears us arguing right after we pray together. How do we stop that from distorting their view of faith? 

Parenting Perspective 

When a moment of shared worship is immediately followed by parental conflict, it can send a confusing message to a child, suggesting that prayer is ineffective or disconnected from real life. Protecting the sanctity of this family ritual is crucial for their spiritual development. 

Create a ‘Buffer’ of Calm After Prayer 

Establish a simple, unspoken rule in your home: the few minutes immediately following a shared prayer are a time for quiet reflection. Agree with your spouse to create a brief, peaceful transition before diving back into worldly matters. This could be a moment of silent dua or simply remaining seated for a minute. 

Agree to Postpone Difficult Conversations 

If a point of contention arises just after you have prayed, make a conscious choice to delay the discussion. One parent can gently say to the other, ‘That is an important point. Let us talk it through properly after dinner’. This models emotional regulation and respect for the act of worship you have just completed. 

Repair and Reaffirm Your Unity 

If an argument does erupt, it is important to repair the moment in front of your child later on. You do not need to discuss the details of your disagreement, but you can say, ‘Mummy and I were feeling stressed earlier, but we are a team, and we are working it out together’. This reassures your child that your parental alliance is strong, even when you have differences. 

By intentionally protecting the moments after prayer, you teach your child that worship is a source of peace that should be honoured and allowed to settle in the heart before engaging with life’s challenges. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islam teaches that our acts of worship should soften our hearts and beautify our conduct, especially in our interactions with our family. 

Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah An Najm (53), Verse 62: 

‘So prostrate to Allah and worship [Him]…‘ 

This command to worship is a call to connect with the divine. Rushing from this sacred act into a worldly dispute can diminish its spiritual impact. By creating a calm transition after prayer, we allow the light of that worship to illuminate our character and bring peace to our homes. 

The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ taught that the remembrance of Allah is what gives the heart life. 

It is recorded in Sahih Muslim, 2675, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘The similitude of the one who remembers his Lord and the one who does not remember Him is like that of the living and the dead.‘ 

This powerful hadith reminds us that a heart that is “alive” with the remembrance of Allah is one that is calm, connected, and at peace. Following prayer with quiet dhikr, rather than arguments, is a way of keeping the heart “alive” and demonstrating to our children that our worship truly transforms us.