Sometimes I dismiss my spouse’s ideas as ‘typical’ or ‘naive’, lightly, but repeatedly. Our child has started doing the same to their sibling. How can I course-correct this? 

Parenting Perspective 

The Unintended Lesson of Dismissiveness 

Certainly, the repetition of even a light or playful dismissal can establish a tone of disrespect in the home, particularly for children who quickly assimilate communication patterns and imitate them without nuance. When you lightly insult or degrade your spouse’s thoughts, even with a smile or jest, you are teaching your child that intelligence and viewpoints can be rated and that certain people may be safely dismissed. They take that pattern into their own interactions, frequently aiming it at peers or siblings, believing that sarcasm or superiority are acceptable forms of communication. 

A Strategy for Course Correction 

To correct the course, you must first demonstrate awareness and willingness to change. If your child hears you say, “I think I was unfair just now, your dad had a point, and I brushed it off,” they will see humility in action. This disrupts the cycle of behaviour in a way that feels natural and authentic. In private, reconnect with your spouse to check that your tone is not causing more harm than you think. Then, in daily family life, begin to elevate ideas, “That is a creative suggestion,” or “I did not see it that way, thanks.” These modest validations not only reinforce the other parent’s point of view but also encourage your child to approach conflict with curiosity rather than contempt. 

Spiritual Insight 

Islamic adab lays a high importance on maintaining dignity in discourse. The Prophet Muhammad never mocked or discarded others’ ideas, even if they were incorrect or erroneous. Instead, he acted with tenderness, correction without humiliation, and silence when necessary. His demeanour was always positive and boosted others. Allah Almighty states in the noble Quran at Surah Al Hujuraat (49), Verse 11: 

‘Those of you who are believers, do not let a nation ridicule another nation, as perhaps it may be that they are better than them... and do not insult each other; and do not call each other by (offensive) nicknames…’ 

Even mild mocking undermines respect. The verse warns against underestimating others due to our own false assumptions. It is recorded in Jami Tirmidhi, Hadith 1977, that the holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said: 

‘A believer is not a slanderer, nor does he curse, nor speak in an obscene or foul manner. ‘

Our children absorb not only how we communicate with them, but also how we speak to those around them, particularly those closest to us. By replacing covert contempt with genuine consideration, you provide your child a role model of respect that protects hearts and strengthens connections.